Dear Mr. B (my One and Only),

Next month will be 1yr since you vanished from my life. I can honestly say that I still love you with the same intensity today as I did then. It never seems to fade or lessen no matter how much time passes. You will always own a piece of my heart.

You hurt me. I replay our last conversation over and over in my mind. The words you said cut me deeply. You told me..."It will only hurt for a little while....but you'll get over it". You were wrong. The countless days I spent crying inconsolably. The overwhelming feeling of abandonment. You made me feel unwanted...unloved...unimportant....disposable....replaceable & easily forgettable. Like I was were always somebody to me.

I still ask myself....Why? You made promises...we made plans...I believed in you. You were the closest friend I've ever had. Leaving me full of questions & doubts. Never having closure. You just turned away and never bothered to look back.

I must not have meant that much to you...for you to just leave me in that way. It was cold...thoughtless...and heartless. It's something that no matter what I do or how much time will never fully heal. It's something that will stay with me forever. Even though I may successfully put it behind me one day...I will never be able to fully let it go. Trust will forever be an issue with every relationship/friendship I have in the future.

I let you into my private world. A world only you have been able to enter. You know my dreams. You know my past...present...and what I want my future to hold. You know the real me...flaws & all. You know me better than anyone I've ever known.....and ever will know. You were the first and the last....I learned my lesson. I will not allow myself to take the risk of leaving myself that vulnerable again.

I always thought you were a man of integrity. Someone you could count on to do the right thing. I thought you would eventually make things my surprise you never did.

I tried....I took a HUGE chance....I was patient...understanding....loyal and incredibly giving. You kept asking me to give it more time...which i did willingly. I loved you with my entire the end I lost. Not one word from apologies....only cold & numbing silence. Heart wrenching silence.

I miss you. I'd do anything to have my friend back...or in the very least have answers.

~ S

hadyourchance hadyourchance
36-40, F
2 Responses Jan 9, 2013

Do you feel better getting that off your chest?

Yes, I do.

I hope one day you can find peace with this whole situation. I know how much it hurts you. Chin up.

Me too.

Send them this letter if you haven't.You have nothing to lose.It will only help you for sure.