Dear __________

You beg me and plead me not to leave you. You promise you'll change. You won't be that guy who leaves me in my room crying away the pain while you play a video game. You will get a job, and provide for our daughter. You tell me how much you want me, and need me around.

Do you even care about my happiness? Do you notice the pain in my eyes when you tell me these things? The fear when you raise your voice, when all I am asking is to put some effort into us?

I can't take much more of this. I shouldn't take it at all, but I still try. I try for our daughter. I don't want her to ask me 5 years from now, "Why aren't you still with Daddy?" and have to looks her in the eyes without crying, to say "Daddy made Mommy very unhappy". I hate the thought of that.

I should have known after the first time. After my abortion, when you didn't even bother to check on me while I lay writhing in pain on my bed. How you didn't even care to ask how I was doing. I was dying inside.

When I tried to leave you, you begged me not to. I would have you know? If we didn't have a baby coming. I couldn't haven't another abortion, I'd have killed myself, so I decided, "Maybe this time he means he'll change."

Now she's 7 mos. old and you still have no job and are sucking my college funds dry.

You are slowly killing me. I am losing myself.

I hate you. I hate you so much.

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1 Response Mar 23, 2009

I suggest you talk with somebody so they can help you to express these feelings to him. Good luck. Maybe he's in a bad place in his mind right now? You don't know. Good luck with the 3 of you.