I was out with a friend, having fun, mom on vacation & enjoying my freedom. You & your friend just had to buy us a drink, then invite yourselves over. On the prowl I guess. Funny now, thinking back on how "nice" you were being to me. "The fat friend" as I've been called. My friend of course went with your friend to dance. They got awfully close awfully fast. Guess maybe you thought I'd be desperate enough. You must have been so P!SSED when that wasn't the case. K up & left me, so I guess your friend got lucky that night. You telling her & I that you would be "happy" to see me home. Warning bells should have gone off........ May have, don't really remember.
I should have known better. Should have realized with my past that there's no such thing as something for nothing. Can I say, you played your part well. I was so shocked when you grabbed me from behind & dragged me to the alley behind the bar. Music being so loud you knew if I screamed no one would hear me...... That push up against the wall worked well. I never really knew what hit me.
So I guess in the end it didn't matter that you took by force, the fact remained you got "lucky" too. I didn't. I had to drag myself up from where you threw me. Try to fix my dress as best I could & walk the 6 blocks home as you had made a point of taking my cab fare.
I went to the clinic next day, got the blood work done, the morning after pill, & waited for the results. No one at home to help me deal with it. That's okay, I became stronger because of it. I never told anyone, but you already guessed that. Seeing as the cops never came to get you..... I figured when the doctor was a bit disbelieving of it, I wasn't gonna expect a cop to believe me. After all, I didn't fight. Oh I had bruises where a woman could get bruises if she liked it "rough".... But I wasn't bleeding, I wasn't in need of stitches. I just had a small concussion & a few bruises.
Thank you for proving once again that I have no idea how to pick people. Thank you for making me stronger because I couldn't let anyone know. I faced you every night in my dreams for years with no way of fighting you. Remembering the terror & violence all by myself...... Yeah, thanks for making me the broken woman I am today, or at the very least helping in the creation of my breaks.