Letter To My Boyfriend

Teddy bear,

 

When I find myself grateful to people who helped without trying, by just being there, how do I begin to thank you for the huge difference you've been making for me during all these years, partly knowingly and entirely willingly?

Thank you. So, so, so very much.

You've done so much for me. You agreed to chat and become friends even though I added you with an odd request, no, cry for help. You helped me find someone very dear to me. You stuck with me when everyone else who had meant much was violently leaving me. When all I wanted to do was curl up and die, you showed me I had a friend and stayed with me and chatted and played games and made me smile so much my cheeks hurt. You told me about how my family cared and showed me how and why to be a little more grateful. You spent a lot of time with me when I was sick and stressed and needed you most. You traveled a very long way to meet me, make me happy, be with me in person, and were understanding when I couldn't give as much in return as I would have liked to. You ask questions when I would mention things are wrong. You always ask for things which will help me, rather than anything for yourself.

Your presence in my life - by what you ask of me, what you say, what you do, or simply the way I feel about you - has motivated me to grow when I had little other motivation and helped me to see what I am capable of, such as when I started cooking or making needlepoints because I wanted to make you happy. Both were things I had previously believed myself incapable of, and yet here I was, doing them. But above all, you make me feel loved. I wonder if you know that. Do you remember how I used to tell you I thought no one would want even to kiss me, let alone become involved with me? Now, here we are, and I'm the happiest that you've proven me wrong.

Another thing I wanted to tell you, which just struck me this evening. You know how I'm working on that needlepoint for you? I managed to get a thread of yarn pretty tangled tonight and it made me think. This is how we are. Needlework and love ... same thing. Sometimes it's pleasant and rewarding, sometimes it's difficult work, but I don't want to give up because it's beautiful, because I care about you deeply, because these things make me happy and the good outweighs the bad by far. It's worth it. Sometimes, I look back on what I have so far and I become speechless, myself, as if along the way I hadn't realized what I achieved. & I try to make every stitch with love ... because when I forget that, things get bad. If I am patient and move the threads slowly, it always comes out right in the end. Which sounds very much like how I feel about you.

I hope I'm not sounding cliche or overwhelming you, writing this. I felt inspired tonight and thought I'd show some of my appreciation. I feel blessed to have you in my life, no matter what happens. The happy moments I've had with you, the things you've helped me improve about myself, the confidence you helped me gain - nothing can erase the fact that these happened. Thank you.

I love you, teddy bear.

naranja naranja
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 13, 2010

Lovely heartfelt letter/ story and to Teddy Bear! hugs!