Advice Please

Met my fiancée in September 2009 I knew that when we met he had a "friend" over the phone from AZ they had a phone relationship but have never met. Well he met me and Pretty much eneded it with her. two weeks after meeting he asked me to move in I was 20 he was 23 and I was IN LOVE. He has a son from a previous relationship which was 8 years old at the time. That didn't bother me one bit so I didn't hesitate to still want to be with him. After moving in with him I started finding things that brought to light more of the kind of person he was I found letters and a medication that was to be taken after an abortion with a woman's name on it I asked about it and he told me 2 weeks before meeting me he got some girl he wasn't serious with pregnant. Had an abortion. Which just mind boggled me because at that time he was already trying to get me pregnant on purpose so it just didn't
make any sence he now says its
because he choose to be with me
and wanted me to have his babies.
4 months later i got pregnant had a boy on my birthday of that year the following year i got pregnant again had another boy this year. my problem has been a reaccuring issue. He downloads texting apps or chat apps and build a fake cyber relationships with girls from all over. Saying things talking about me and the kids NONE OF THESE WOMEN CARED THAT I was pregnant. They just wanted him. Once I found a condom wrapper in his pocket he does flooring so he says he picked it up didn't look what it was and put it in his pocket to throw away later. Oh HOW convinced I was he wont stop we talk about it and he stops for a few weeks or a month maybe only to do it again download apps make up a fake name to these girls longest one lasted 3 months but usually I'm quicker to find out. Not to mention I found phone numbers from that were ****** he told me he just calls and hangs up but I seriously doubt it. Money seems to dissappear all the time so I have a feeling its more then a call a d hang up. I feel so desensitized everytime I find something it's like our arguements just get less sad about it like its a normal habit for me yo deal with. Call me stupid I know but its more complicated then to just leave. We are raising my step son together I do everything for his son and the two boys we have together. I feel stuck, I feel lost in love because this man does everything for us he works come home at a good time every night never hit me never makes fun we have a really good relationship as partners our sex is what he likes to call " ***** sex" because its never ever boring. Trust me I'm not lying about this. We play video games together hang out he's really my best friend but why I just can't figure out why he can't stop! We are very open with his issues and I asked him the same question and he just doesn't know almost like he just can't help it. My question is what do we do? Trusting him isn't happening anytime soon I constantly wait until it happens again cause it always does so the times that he isn't doing it I'm not enjoying it because I'm checking call logs or going through emails. Can't help it sound like I'm crossing the line and not giving him privacy but to me he doesn't deserve privacy. And has yet tried to really earn my trust he just goes on the weeks like nothings happened until it happens again its a really sick cycle and I'm TIRED OF IT.
AfraidIwillGiveUp AfraidIwillGiveUp
Sep 14, 2012