I Know Why

Why do I cross dress? It is very simple, because I like to.

Though that is not an adequate answer because there was a long period in my life when I loved cross dressing but then would immediately reject it and myself for engaging in such a thing.

My first item of female clothing was a pair of my sister's panties. She was 3 years older and I went by her bedroom on the way downstairs. There on the corner of the bed closest to the door was a pair of very pale pink panties with lace around the leg holes and around the waist. They were so pretty and I was consumed with a desire to put them on. The bathroom was opposite so I reached in, snatched the panties and ducked into the bath and soon had them on.

The felt great and I loved looking at them in the mirror.

A week later I first shared dresing with another person, a neighbor girl. Somehow lost over time we compared panties. It was not sexual in any way. [Though her parents felt very differently when after three weeks they found out that she and I compared panties almost everyday.]

Dressing for the longest time was a single item at a time.

By the time I reached puberty and the blissful delight of male ***********, dressing took on a definite fetishistic turn, as the female lingerie became stimulous props. This became so ingrained in me that to this day I am more aroused by getting in to female clothing than by a female in the same clothing.

It was only when I was in college and had a lot of time and privacy that I first began to dress up completely. The results were pretty hideous as there was no attempt to look good, just to be completely dressed as a woman. At that point what I liked and sought was the awareness that I was now dressed as a woman, as if the clothes blotted out my maleness.

Then I took another step and began to be concered about how I looked. Catalogs of female clothing and womens' fashion magazines were my inpiration for how a woman ought to look and I began to select items for how they would look togehter. Now my concern was for how feminnine I looked.

Then came the Internet and access to so, so many other gurls. This is how I learned of all the ways women acted differently than men. Once it was suggested to me, I started watching and emulating women that I saw. This lead me to try acting and the skills of portraying someone else on stage encouraged me to be able to act more like a female.

Then my wife jumped into the middle of my life and took control of my dressing, and like from going for zero to 60 in four seconds, I moved from the occasional full dressing, to dressing every minute I was home, to dressing and living as a woman. After three months of this forced continual dressing, I finally realized this is what I have wanted all along. I realize with my height and features passing as a woman is unlikely, but that does not mean that I cannot in all other ways project being a woman.

Now it is so much a part of me that I feel almost naked, actually uneasy, if I am not wearing female clothing. Everyday I cannot wait to get home from work so I can ***** off hte male-drab clothes and "doll up", as my wife calls it. And as soon as I do, when the clothes are all on, the wig in place, the lipstick on my lips, then I feel at peace.
deleted deleted
26-30
4 Responses Aug 3, 2010

What a wonderful real-isation of your true self; I'm really happy for you!

That's a GREAT story. You're very lucky

That's a GREAT story. You're very lucky

Wow you stories little like mine I told my first grilfriend about my cross dressing it was a good and bad the thing I leaned how to do my on hair and make up and went to a halloween party and was passiable and gotten complents it was great but after that thing went bad the guilted of the joy and the things said to me caused my 20year purge of bitting my touge fighting my feels didn't tell or think a about telling my first wife but now think it because I told my 2nd wife about how I like to wear make up and high heels and women's clothes not to look of feel like woman because I just like wear them they make feel so relaxed and comfortable and gives me a secenes of well being

and like mine too!

except, i was working and fully dressed as a gurl, when i first caught the attention on my wife. so, right from the begining my wife was enjoying a rather "personally exciting" relationship with a guy that wasn't afraid to go out dressed as a gurl.

we've been happily "married with children" for 17 years now. and although i've had to transition for the sake of our kids, until they were mature enough to understand why my real name was "alice". i've still been able to enjoy feeling relaxed and comfortable at home or while out in public....completely dressed as a gurl.

glad to hear i'm not the only one who grew up not being inhibited by wearing what we love.

alice