OCPD And Emotional Neglect

I come from a very warm home, at least that's what I used to think and others kept telling me, that I am so blessed. I tried to feel blessed, but I have been depressed as long as I can remember till 3 years ago. It took me a long time to spent in denial, but my parents were the cause for my OCPD. Sometimes I really wish I could talk about it with them, but it is not their fault. They also didn't know any better and they gave the best they have. They were and still are always there to help with anything practical, but they have never been there emotionally. They never taught me about emotions which made me a ticking timebomb, exploding 3 years ago. Completely lost and addicted to weed, because I blocked out so much my whole life I couldn't function anymore. Nothing I felt or did many any sense. I was a mess and felt suicidal again. That old feeling of emptiness I carried my whole teen years which I learned to block out, deny and pretend. I was never bullied (at school that is), molested or whatever, I came from a loving home, I wasn't supposed to feel like this! But I did and it made me see that emotional neglect is actually abuse. I believe this is the root of OCPD. Would love to hear others on this. What do you believe?
Sloddervosch Sloddervosch
31-35, F
2 Responses Oct 17, 2013

ocd ocpd?? ty I relate to much of this

I can identify with a lot of the things you've mentioned. I can't help but cry reading all these experiences because I'm just realising why I am the way I am.