I Am A Survivor, Not A Victim... I Am Not A Statistic, I Am Jess :)

I was just over 18 years old at the time of this incident and my ex, Brandon, was 20.... We were only together about 3 months and in the last week of our relationship was when he let his true side show... He became a CONTROL FREAK!

I haven't had the best luck with men in my life... When I was just 14 I was raped for the first time and really let my life go to ****... I started drinking alot, smoking weed and skipping school all the time! I had my first boyfriend during that and was with him 3 years all together and he was an abusive POS... excuse my language... When we broke up I >started dating another guy who ended up liking Coke tooooo much for me! At that point I was trying to turn my life around so that ended just shy of 1 yr...

Then I met Brandon... He was very good looking, not to overly confident and really gave me the time of day... But our relationship moved WAAAAYY to fast... after meeting him, he was calling me his grilfriend within 2 days... The last week of our relationship was when he got very clingy... during >school one day he sent me 30 text messages and called 45 times just cause he wanted to talk... the talking was only to convince me to have sex with him... He wanted to be the first guy to get me to willingly give up my virginity.... Which I told him not now, repeatedly.....

I called him after school on a friday and asked him to meet me there. I was going to break it off....
 He took it better then I thought... Didn't get mad like I thought but was very upset and tried to make it work with me for over 2 hours standing outside his car. I told him I just wanted space for a few days and to let him cool down also... He asked if he could still text me which I stupidly said yes too even though I just asked for a break....

I went home and called my cousin to tell him all about it cause I did feel really bad for not trying to work it out with him... My cousin convinced me to drive up to spend the weekend with him and his wife to just let me clear my head. I agreed thinking I could just go up there and turn my phone off and just have a peaceful weekend... I was VERY wrong!

I arrived up at my cousin's house at around 10 am that Saturday on the 17th and we spent that day watching movies and talking about my drama and later that night we had a BBQ and bonfire with a bunch of there friends before my cousin's wife had to leave for work at 4 that morning for a 24 hr nurses double shift...

That whole night Brandon was texting me, asking me to call him and to please come over to his house... To my knowledge he had no idea I was at my cousins house, 2 hrs north of my home...

I just repeatedly told him I was busy and would talk to him the next day, Sunday...

At around 3:30 am I awoke to there garage door shutting as Corissa, his wife was leaving for her shift at work.  About a minute later my phone started vibrating and lighting up and it was Brandon calling. I let it go to voicemail. I got up and went down the hall to the bathroom  and came back and listened to that awful voicemail... I still get an upset feeling in my stomach when I think about what he said and his voice and his tone.

He was just YELLING as loud as possible in the message about how he knows I left town and was up here supposedly screwing other guys and getting wasted. He was yelling so loud that my cousin who was still somewhat awake in the next room could hear him in the message and it wasn't even on speaker phone. 
 
Brandon said I better pray he didn't find me cause there would be hell to pay. That no girl breaks up with him to screw another guy. He said how he was gonna have me one way or another and I better start running now cause he WOULD find me! I just threw my phone on the ground and started screaming hysterically not knowing my cousin was right outside the door trying to listen... he came barging in trying to calm me down and wanted to hear the message. 

He listened to it and went downstairs, got a baseball bat and loaded a gun and came back upstairs and called Brandon... he tried to be civil with him but Brandon was out of control! I remember hearing a pause from Brandon and then he said my cousin's address... my cousin didn't respond. And all Brandon said was see you soon and hung up. 

We then notified the >police of our situation and that he could possibly be coming in 2 hours or LESS and they then sent someone out to his house right away... Why they didn't allow us to come to cop shop is completely beyond me at this point...  the rest of the night 2 squad cars totalling 3 men and a K-9 were outside the house until 10 that morning the 18th when they decided to just have the one officer be on guard.
 
By 3 pm when he hadn't shown the police officer was told to leave the property and we were to call if anymore phone calls or suspision was happening....

 I thought we maybe lucked out but at around 4 pm began our hell...

BRUISES ON MY LEGS AND WRIST
 We heard a knock at the door and my cousin peeked around the curtain to look at who it was and then in that second of him looking, that glass of the window shattered. I instanly got up and ran into the bathroom trying to yell for my cousin, Jeremy, to get in there with me. The front door then broke in and my cousin, with baseball bat in hand yelled for me to shut the bathroom door and lock it...

It was like something out of a dream. Brandon stopped and stared at me and chuckled and just tackled my cousin who was actually bigger than Brandon. They were wresting on the ground and I ran to grab the baseball bat and my cousin yelled, "Jessy don't. Lock the F***in door!"
I ran back in the bathroom and locked the door and just tried to cover my ears from the sounds... I reached in my pocket for my phone to call 911 and it wasn't there.... I just screamed... it was still sitting on the couch!! I just kept hearing things break and yelling and couldn't tell who was in more trouble in the fight... It went quiet for 10 seconds. I yelled for my cousin and all I heard was a faint, "Brandon, please." and then Brandon's chuckle again right outside the door and then it was kicked in!
BRUISES ON JEREMY'S ARM

I begged him to stop but he pulled me out of the bathroom and I just seen my cousin lying on the floor with blood on his face and hiseyes shut and I thought he was dead. I screamed his name literally probably 5 times as Brandon was trying to pull me out  the door. I just about gave up hope and then he moved his head and I began to fight to get back in there to him. I bit Brandon, punched him, tried to scream for a neighber and the closest one was literally a MILE away but I screamed anyways.

I just pleaded and begged for him to let me go to see if he was all right.... I got free and made it to him and right away after Brandon was right there picking me up again. Only this time I had the remote in my hand and just turned and hit him with it it so hard it snapped right down the middle. He just turned his head back slowly and all I remeber was seeing the lines between his fingers right before he hit me. I came to when my body plopped on his shoulder and I looked down and my cousin's eyes were open but he just looked at me with a paralyzing stare.... I started kicking again and got down from his shoulder and reached for my phone.... I got it in my hand and Brandon began hitting my arm multiple times to knock it out... It finally fell out and slid toward the bathroom and I ran for it.
 
BATHROOM DOOR SPLIT
He then came up behind me and grabbed me by my waist and knocked me down on the stairs. He straddled me and grabbed my wrists so tight it felt like the circulation was cutting off... I knew what he was gonna do but I just tried my hardest to hold it off as long as possible. He kept saying one way or another like he was possesed... and kept saying really nasty vulgar sex things to me... He said how he finished off another girl and it was my turn now. I just spit in his face and he then slapped me really hard where I just felt so dazed and helpless and my head just throbbed... BRUISES ON TOP OF MY LEGS

I just remember crying the whole time, begging him to let me see if my cousin, Jeremy was ok and telling him that I didn't want him to die... He just ripped my shirt down the side and I just yelled for my cousin, realizing it was starting, and praying he would wake up or even get up to stop it. Brandon kept telling me to stop crying and it would be over soon. That he HAD to do it... It was like something snapped in his head and he almost felt bad for doing it!! He pulled my jeans down and I just put my hands over my eyes and cried saying "Please God." hoping I would just black out again. Brandon said, "God isn't going to stop this." I just kept squirming hoping he would get tired of trying to situate me but he didn't. He just kept yelling at me to stop moving and stop crying, that he didn't want to hear it....

It didn't take him long to finish but it was the most awkward, uncomfortable situation besides that...

With all that typed, it seems like this would've been hours but it was only about an hr and a half....

When he was done he grabbed my chin and mademe look at him and just said, "B***h." He got up and went over to my cousin and lightly kicked him to see if he'd move. He then spit on him and said one way or another and walked out the door... I just laid on the stairs for a minute or so and stared at the ceiling fan when I heard his tires squeal and snapped back into it.

I pulled my pants on but my shirt was ruined. I crawled over to peek around the couch praying he was ok... I just lightly said his name and he waved his arm for me to come over there. I jumped up and a ran over there telling him to open his eyes and look at me... he would but they just had tears in them and he wouldn't look at me... I just kept telling him he was gonna be all right and that it was over.  I thought he was in so much pain and thats why he was crying but it was because he felt so bad that he couldn't stop it.

I couldn't find my phone and so I just ran outside yelling for help... And within 10 seconds his neighbor, who heard some commotion earlier,  came around the corner kind of skepital and I just basically collapsed on the steps when I saw there was actual help... like a relieved breeze came over me. I just started crying saying to call 911, that Jeremy was hurt and we needed help.

He quickly gave me his jacket, (since it was January and I had no shirt and only a bra on), and fumbled trying to get his phone. He asked where Jeremy was and luckily he himself was a retired nurse to control his blood lose. I just shivered and tried to stop crying and breath long enough to say he was inside. He told the dispatcher the scene and what was needed and said to hurry because Jeremy had a very weak pulse. The man then called his wife to come with there car because he wanted me to sit in it until they arrived... I had never met either one of these two but they were literal life savers! She just sat in the back seat and threw a blanket around me and literally held me in her arms while I could only cry until they showed up.

Within 15 minutes, 4 squad cars, totalling 8 officers and 2 ambulances were there and they were trying to put Jeremy on a back board but he kept yelling in pain whenever they moved him... They weren't gonna let me ride with him at first and wanted to make me go for care in the other ambulance but I refused to let go of his hand and plus he had a good grip on mine anyways so I knew he wanted me there :)

Jeremy had a broken jaw, collar bone, and 6 ribs and was one disc off in his back from severing a nerve in his lower back and being permanently paralyzed...

I was very lucky and was just very sore down there and "sprained" my jaw and had a slight dislocation of my shoulder, which pills helped that pain.....

Amidst all this happening... my parents never knew... I skipped a week of school and staying with Jeremy and his wife and in that week was long enough for the bruises on my face to fade enough and brown where makeup would cover them thank god! Brandon recently faced trial the Spring of 2010 and was convicted of the crime against my cousin... I never could bring myself to testify in court, or even see him in person EVER again! He only received 2 and half years for the crime against my cousin.

BRANDON GOING INTO COURT ROOM

But Jeremy and I are closer than ever now. We both still have good and bad days and nights... he still holds alot of guilt which I try to get him to realize none of it was his fault and the fact that he is alive makes it alot better!

I am currently in a relationship... have been for 2 years now... 5 months after the incident we met and I couldn't be happier! He his the man I have been looking for this whole time! We recently had a baby boy this July! :)