Was Is The Important Word

I was quite the submissive wife. He was HoH and it was my role to support him in everything. We had an agreement that included his spanking me when I was wrong... that included his right to sex (not mine), that included him making all decisions, that reinforced just about any traditional value you might think of.

Turned out that he was a seething mass of insecurities... that he liked to inflict pain... that the reason I was not to disagree with him was that he couldn't deal with someone pointing out when he was flat-out wrong.

Things got a bit ugly before I got out. They got a bit painful for me too... but I did get out.

I was a submissive wife... but no longer.
SabrinaNYC SabrinaNYC
26-30, F
7 Responses Jan 8, 2013

Good for you to get out of that relationship. There is a fine line between abuse and dominance. As a Dom, you train your sub, but you also love her/him and you take care of them.

A sub only gifts her submission. It isn't a right she gives up, but gifts him the privileged of his dominance. She can always take it back and he must respect it. He must earn that trust to keep the gift.

So I, glad you were able to recognize the difference and got out.

Hey good for you :)

Sounds like you made the right choice
It's only ok if it's consensual and you have a safe word so it never goes to far

Why Don't You Swap Roles With Me?

Good for you! Thank you for sharing your experience.
Bless your heart for having the strength and courage to free yourself.

I am sorry to hear your submissive nature was so badly taken advantage of by someone who had no place as your leader. I glad to hear you are now safe. Hopefully the future will bring you wonderful and great relationships:-)

DD only works if both partners work together. It sounds to me as though in your situation he used it to his advantage only. There must be love or it is nothing more than abuse. I am so very sorry this happened to you. Good for you for identifying the problem and getting out dear. A woman is to be cherished by her HOH. I wish you the best in the future.

A man who can't control himself is not fit to control anyone else

That is true.

I'd love to hear more about your experience with this. I'm in a TIH relationship and I always wonder about the different aspects that the relationship can end up taking, whether its good or bad. . .