Bullies Ruined My Mind

Bullies are pathetic. This is just one case of a friends treachery. All my freinds betrayed me as a child - I was alone it hurt. It hurt more than the punching. It hurt more than the name-calling. It hurt more than anything because not only did they harass me they destroyed my trust. I have never been able to truly trust again. It tugs at my mind whenever I go new places, meet new people and it even (In the worst years) got into my dreams: the one thing keeping me from going crazy. Before I dreamt of friends and me - though it wrong - turning the tables; harassing the bullies till they left my life for ever. But when i woke up to see the bloodstains and purple bruises i had so carefully hid from my parents in the middle of the night I cried. I was strong. But I cried. Now I feel I was pathetic to cry and wish I would have hit back. But I was just to psychologically weak. It destroyed me from inside and has left me scarred and wounded. The physical scars healed, the bruising healed, the blood was washed off- but the pain continues.

I'm sorry if this feels like a waist of your time but I needed someone to read it... someone who cares...
Jexperiences Jexperiences
22-25, M
1 Response Dec 1, 2012

i do care about u. r u in a sefe place now? if not, can u return home? home, sweet home, it can make satsfied...

I'm sorry to say home sweet home doesn't apply for me. That is where everything happened. That is where my mind and body will refuse me to go. But thank you. its nice to know someone cares. You are a lovely person god bless you and may god protect you from all things evil.