Last School Year, As A Sohomore In High School

I was a very popular person my first year of high school. As a freshman, i knew everyone, i was captain of the debate team (great accomplishment at that time), and i ran track. My friends were emos, scifi freaks, cheerleaders, math nerds, the track group, the tennis girls- everybody. Then, over the summer, it came to light that i was, at 14, the victim of sexual abuse. The next year of school, as a sophomore age 15, i lost it all.
Rumors are tough. They get you in all the worst ways. Friends stopped talking to me, and people i'd never even met before had crude things to say to me. It seemed that most of the school had come to the conclusion that i must have been a **** to be touched the way i was by the person who did it. In fact, that's what i heard the most. "****," "*****," and countless ways of saying "worthless" were thrown at me every day. You hear something enough, and you start to believe it.
I could handle the names, though. I could go home and cry about some girl from science class saying "she'd be a lesbian if it werent for what she did with that teacher," without being scared. No, i wasnt afraid to walk down the halls alone or eat lunch in the cafeteria until one morning when a group of boys cornered me in the hallway, asking if i wanted to ****. Telling each other stories about what they'd heard i'd done. I knew being agressive was the quickest way to scare them off, so i stepped forward and told him to shut the **** up. Instead of laughing and backing off, he pushed me against a locker and said, "I can do whatever i want to you, and no one's here to stop me, *****."
He let me go, and like a scared child, i burst into tears and walked as quickly as i could to my only safe haven, the counsellors office. From that moment on, i stayed in groups, even if the people only gave me nasty looks, and i ate lunch with my CNA teacher. A few months into the school year, after things began to escalate, i got out the only way i knew how. Suicide seemed like the best thing in the world, the perfect rescue. I left that school two days before thanksgiving of 2011, and i havent been back since.
MissAmsr MissAmsr
18-21, F
Dec 4, 2012