"you Have All The Weapons You Need , Now Fight," - My Runaway Story.

Running away was hard. But , let's go back a bit. (October of 2010) I'm 15 , and everything in my life is not how it seems , sure i was a whiny teenager , but that doesn't mean I didn't have problems at home. My mother and step-father Jason were the most irresponsible people you've ever met. They never paid the bills on time , we'd often run out of food , and they never really put me first or considered my feelings. My mother , abused meth when i was little , but "got over it" shortly after now her drug of choice in klonopin or xanex  or any other drug she can get her hands on .  since i was diagnosed with ADHD, she found a free drug. She knew i hated the pills because they turned me into a zombie so she didn't make me take them , she took them for me. I knew it was wrong but what was i supposed to do.? say : "sorry mom , but you can't take my pills anymore". of course not. My mother was a pretty sadistic witch, she loved seeing me miserable or unhappy. She would often see to it that i was completely unhappy. Things were bad , with her constant mental abuse and her physical abuse , but not as bad as when I met John (note: his name has been changed to protect his identity) John , was of course 6 years older than I was , which is pretty normal to me. Seeing as I've never been attracted to anyone my own age. John , was however smart , successful and stable , no to mention handsome. And , on top of all that he drove a nice car , and had plenty of money.  I was basically asking my mother to make my life an absolute hell.  I loved him from moment number one , Unfortunately , I wasn't allowed to date anyone older than me , so we had to lie to my parents about it. Which he and i still wish we never had to do. John soon became my everything , I'd never had anyone care about me that much he made me happy. an emotion I had forgot exsisted.  Even though me and him were very close He had no idea of how poor i really was , and about my mother's abuse because I was embarrassed. The most embarrassing of it though was when I'd hadn't eaten in 2 days because my parents couldn't feed me , and we had a date . So of course i ate like a Football player after the super bowl around him , which embarrassed me because I try to project an image of "daintiness" like most girls in the south. He never knew until here recently that i hardly ever had water or power or even basics like food. My mother began to notice quickly how much happier I was with him around , and how by dating him I had an escape from her. She couldn't stand it. So , she began to lash out at me and get me into to trouble for things that never happened or that shouldn't matter like for instance , the type of underwear I had on when going to see him , or whether or not i took a bath. (yes , I got in trouble for taking baths.!) And she would tell me I couldn't see him just to watch me cry and beg . It was her newest way to humiliate me. Not to mention the fact that when my step-dad (who's been like my father , and i call him dad)  gave me money for school clothes or Christmas or just because i asked for some she'd accuse me of sleeping with him. And purposely trying to steal him away from her. Which is absolutely NUTS.  She was a total basket case and it killed me on the inside to be there.  Everything soon escalated when i began to spend alot of time with John , and when my step-dad started making better money. We soon moved that march into a much nicer and larger house than before , but I was used to losing everything and it saddened me to move in because I knew it wouldn't last long , because my parents didn't know how to pay bills.  As things between me and john got more and more serious , the more my mother tried to tear me down , in ways that even know are hard for me to imagine. She'd make up things that i'd say or too to ground me , she' d tell me to be home by eleven but call me at 5 and demand i come home in the next five minutes or she'll call the cops and i'll never see John again. I hated when she used John against me , It was the worst . She'd use him to get me to clean the entire house , and bath her filthy dogs when they pooped themselves or scrub poop and  pee from the floors , or give her things of mine that she knew I loved, Like , perfume , clothes , anything she wanted of mine she knew she could have because I loved John enough to rather hand it over than go without him. Eventually Summer  came around , that's when things were there roughest . Our water was constantly turned of , so I'd shower at John's . Due to this , I finally came around to telling him everything that went wrong at my house about my mother's abuse and being impoverished. I never thought he would be soo understanding because he had money. Then , he told me of his abuse , which nearly brought me to tears because couldn't imagine anyone hurting him at such a young age.  I wasn't allowed to hang out with John or anyone more than 3 times a week , because i was needed for indentured slaveitude. (sp?) It was ridiculous being 16 years old and having to choose between hanging out with friends or seeing your boyfriend , I knew it was wrong but there was nothing i could do about it. Then  when august came around it was time for school shopping and my mother didn't approve of me getting new things for  school. She felt as though I didn't deserve new things. she told me many times " If we can't afford new shoes for me , the you won't be getting any new ones either" . Which didn't make sense to me , because shouldn't your children have before you do.? She was out of control with the mental abuse trying to convince me that no one loved me , and all I had was her. And she'd constantly tell me John was cheating on me  and my dad never wanted me and the reason i didn't have any friends was because  I was horrible to be around  and anytime I'd be dressed up or feeling pretty she'd tell me i looked like a **** , and make me change. or anything she could to break down my spirit.  I knew she had to be stopped.  I had told my step dad before of  her cruelty but he never believed me.  No one did but John because he had been there when she did it.  I remember her beating the crap out of me for not giving her my new socks for school. And messing up my hair on purpose by bleaching it yellow , or cutting it to make me look stupid. I was always soo jealous of other girls with their mom's doing things and being happy. Soon enough we went to Mississippi to visit my step-dad's family . I at the time didn't know my parents had already planned on moving there to mooch off of his parents. Had I known , I would've never went. EVER.  I soon figured out their plans and cried , just cried  I felt defeated. and i Knew i would loose John and i would be stuck there without an escape without love , if something wasn't done. Soo me and John planned my escape from the world of pain I was living in.  There's was always this quote that helped me overcome my fears and doubts , it's from a movie i cherish called Sucker Punch . the Quote is : "You have all the weapons you need , now fight" . It's the perfect motto for survival , it helped me believe that I could do anything , that i was unstoppable. Running away was one the hardest things I've ever done , and i don't recommend it to anyone without a plan for survival or lack of commitment.  We had it all planned out , I conveniently had a friend living nearby  who said they'd come and get me  and let me stay there for a small fee.  It was too perfect. Except the night i had planned to go , My tattle-tale sister found out .  And threatened to tell.  So , of course , i couldn't leave  the day we had planned , It was paralyzing the thought of being trapped. My bag however , remained hidden in a broken tent in the backyard. or ...so i thought.  My cousin Jake had learned the location and decided to do met he favor of moving it inside the frequented garage for me.  FML right.? but  when i went into the garage to retrieve it , it wasn't there. I panicked and began searching allover  he house for it. It was nowhere to be found. And  as the time to leave approached , i panicked more and more. eventually i gave up the search and decided , well guess I'm leaving here with nothing but the clothes on my back , (a sweatshirt and some skinny jeans with a hole , and my converse) which was extremely hard for me because  I am  a bit materialistic plus it would be hard for any girl to leave everything she owned except a few pairs of panties my makeup and some body spray and lotion.. had the cops found me at that time , it probably wouldv'e looked like i was running away to be a prostitute. >.< .... But I knew John could support me and buy me new things which is why i left it . Plus , clothes aren't worth the torture of the everyday life there. It was about 10:30 when I  got the 20 minute proximity warning. I was afraid but confident in our plan ... I walked outside and pretended to be on the phone like normal and I walked to the side of the house where i had thrown my shoes and my black purse  , everything was scary and intense as i tied my shoes and ran for the trail in the woods that led to a neighborhood two streets over... i made it i thought...and i quickly assessed my location and ducked inside of a bush and somehow turned my body into a human pretzel for 45 minutes having mini heart attacks every time a car would pass... eventually i got the text saying they were there to get me , and i saw they're car pass  , i smiled on the inside thinking I'd never get this far. I hopped  in the back and laid down... panicking even more , then we reached the state I call home (which i can't tell you what it is for safety purposes) . and i stayed with them for about a week and a half , the living conditions were terrible , but it was worth it to get out of that place. I will always appreciate my friend for that.  The safety soon came to halt when they were giving me a ride back to where I was from... he guy driving got pull led over for running a stop sign (someone called a reported him) two cops were behind us ..in moments. now we didn't know why they were. We assumed they knew and were coming to arrest them and take me home... we were all panicking I almost had a heart attack from the fear of making i this far and failing.  The cops came up to the car and questioned the driver  an soon asked for everyone's ID's. I didn't  have a learners permit or a license  and i didn't know my social security number ... sooo the cop asked for my name ... and i acted as though i didn't understand English practically , I figured "I'm screwed" so i gave the cops my whole name and they ran through he system , and i don't know if it was an act of god or just plain luck but nothing came up and they just lectured me on growing up and learning my social security number. I was very lucky... to this day I wonder why They didn't haul me away. Now I'm living happily ever after ,for now that is and i thank god for every day of freedom i have.   also , if your a teen runaway reading this  or if your thinking about doing it , make sure you have a good plan , and a way to support yourself , and make sure it's what you want , and always stay committed to your plan. Trust me , it's not as easy as it seems :D