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They Tell A Story

Listen before I say anything... I'm not doing this for attention, or to get sympathy. I just need to tell someone. I need advice. This is my self-harm story. It all started at church on a Wednesday night. I had skipped service with one of my friends. She had been self-harming for a year and a half at the time. I found a razor in her pocket so I took it from her. I was TOTALLY against it. I would give anything for her to stop. I put the razor away in my desk. I forgot about it for a while. One day, I came home, crying. I sat on my floor and cried in my hands for hours. I was constantly bullied in school. Everyday. Useless, waste of space, emo freak... those are theyre favorites they like to call me. They bullied me in any way they could. Physical, Emotional, online, everywhere. One day (after 3 years) I had had enough. I needed some way to forget about the pain they caused me... then I remembered. I had taken my friends razor 2 months ago. It seemed to work for her so why not for me. At first they weren't to bad. The next time I did it, I cut deeper. and deeper. I did it on my thighs, upper arm, wrist, stomach, anywhere I could cover up. I kept it a secret for 8 months. Then I finally told my friend Ty (he used to cut as well). I finally told someone. He didn't go to my school so I knew they woldn't find out. But then my friend Helen and I were at my house... She saw blood dripping from my upper arm. She reached over and ripped up the sleeve on my shirt. I had cut there the day before. I started to cry... I never wanted anyone to see it.. I was so ashamed. I didnt know what to do. Its been a month since she found out and she keeps telling me she's gonna help but never does. I need help.
gothicromance gothicromance 13-15 2 Responses May 23, 2012

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This is going to sound stupid to you but if you try yoga meditation it will work. If you do some yoga everyday for 60 days you will stop hating life. Do an internet search or go to the library to find out how to do it. If your parents have the money they might be willing to pay for a class. Try to get your friends to try it with you.

open your heart and give it to someone that really truly cares. tell your parents about your self harm, and if their not an option call an annonymous hotline. Self harm can be very dangerous to yourself and others. i know how you are feeling i've been through the exact same thing. i always had a secret diary i used to keep and write every time i was sad, mad, hurt, and sometimes even happy. still to this day i write. ive gone into the poetry world. it helped me so maybe it would help you. =) <br />
remember YOU ARE NOT USELESS, WASTE OF SPACE, OR EMO FREAK.! YOU ARE SOMEONE SPECIAL.! LOVE YOURSELF

Well my parents found my box of razors (I have 8or so) and so they know but i denied it.

How did they react when they saw it? And do you still have possession of them?