My Story That Nobody Believes

i remember the day i ranaway and i will never forget. i planned to runaway when i was 14 and finally did it when i was 15. nobody knows why i ranaway. my family and friends all think i ranaway with somebody i met online. and no matter how hard i tried to convince them they wouldnt believe me.

im not like other runaways whose life at home was unbearable. my parents didnt beat me at school i had some friends i had honor rolls every year. people thought i was a bit wierd but i was never a social outcast. i loved going to school for one reason to get away from my parents. although they didnt beat me they were mean and i hated them. my dad was abusive but not to me he only used to beat my little brother. sometimes with a hammer a shovel cables you name that kids got it on his body. but my brother was violet he had bad grades and the teachers complained about him.  he also critisized me about my looks saying i was fat (i was clearly not fat i was 5'6 and 128 thats not fat) . and about my additude he always said i acted like a gangster cuz i liked to wear hoodies or baseball caps. i was a tomboy but he saw it as something else. my dad and i never got along he always saw bad in me. but me everyone new me as the good girl. my parents didnt. my mom always critisized me for everything. she always saw bad in my just like my dad i couldnt stand her. i wasnt allowed to watch t.v. unless it was cartoons, i couldnt call any of my friends at all, and i couldnt go on the internet unless it was for schoolwork. i read alot of book and mom saw i read to many books so she told my dad and he said i couldnt go to the library anymore cuz i was reading books about sex. i ended reading books in the bathroom cuz thats the only fun i had. my mom would tell me "you should clean the house, you should clean your room" the most important thing that i should do was clean the house. in a way hated my mom more than my dad. she used to say the harshest words to me when i didnt clean the house like "i wish i hadnt given birth to you" or "why do u even live if you dont even please your mother"  or "i hate you so much" and on and on. at night i would stay up with my ipod on (my mom and dad didnt know i had one or else they would kill me) listening to sad songs sometimes i cry about it thinking i didnt have a life. i was depressed and my parents hated me so i kept thinking im going to runaway im not going to stay here and im never going to look back. i decided to runaway when school ended. i just finished the 10th grade then.

it was hard for me to leave i was so damn scared but something pushed me that day. it was july 17 just a typical boring summer day. i was on the computer and the house was dirty so my mom came in and yelled at me about how pathetic i was saying i was useless and that she wish i can leave just leave her life and never come back. that was it. she went into the bathroom and i went into my room got a backpack and stuffed clothes and toiletries in there and threw it out my window. the day went on and i thought i was gonna give my mom another chance. a friend of hers came over that day who was also the mother of my best friend. i told my mom i wanted to talk to her and she told me not to talk to her that she didnt want to see me.  it was around 6:30 when i decided to leave. she was in the shower dad was at work my brothers were at the community center my sisters were playing barbie in there room. i slowly went out the front door and slowly shut the door. ran to the back yard grabbed my bags and ran as fast as i could tripping at times and went to the woods behind our house. it was getting dark. in the woods i dropped my bags on the ground my knees were wobly and i was so scared i didnt even no what to do next all i new i wasnt going back. i was gonna be in big trouble. few minutes later i heard my mom calling me. i got even more scared and started running again over piles of garbage until i came to a place surrounded by trees. i was going to be safe for the night there. i still kept hearing my mom calling me and later my brothers. i didnt care. sat there mosquitos biting me i was itching all over but i didnt care.  i heard my dads pickup driving along the road parralel to where i sat surrounded by trees. but then i thought this is the end for you. here he comes. but the pickup never stopped. after so many hours i didnt hear them anymore it was probably midnight by then. i got out of my little hiding spot and ran to a factory. and kept running. i went to the train yard and walked i walked all night. i was sooo damn scared that someone might attack me or rape me i thought the worst. but i wasnt going back. i got tired after walking for so long my shoes were wet cuz it rained and i was hungry. i tried to find a place to sleep but i couldnt sleep outside cuz of the mosquitos biting me. i finally found a beat down care and it was unlocked so i got in and fell asleep. but i didnt sleep much i was awaken by hunger pains they hurt so much. so i got out of the car and started walking again.

i walked all morning not thinking for once even about back home. i didnt care about them. i got on a busy street and walked for a while, and then i found a bench to sit on and rested. i thought then that this was a busy street and that my dad would probably came on this street. i started freaking out and kept looking out for a purple pickup. a city bus stopped in front of me and i realized i was sitting in front of a bus stop. i got in and paid. it felt good to be on the bus it was cold inside and comfortable. i wanted to stay inside forever. then the bus came to a final stop and i got off. it was a parking lot for a shopping mall. i sat on a bench for like hours i was scared to go anywhere else i didnt talk to anyone. for a while i went into the mall with my big backpack and everybody thought i was crazy. i came out and went back to the bench and then it started raining and i went back into the mall and waited. when the rain finished i went back to the bench. several buses stoped to ask me where i was going and i got scared they might realize im a runaway and call the cops. i got on a bus and it put me off at a shopping plaza. i continued walking so hungry but i kept walking. i walked all day thinking of where i was going to sleep. i just walked. it was getting rilly dark and i found a nice looking dentist parking lot and sat behind it for a while. i changed my clothes and when i took off my shoes my feet looked like something else. they got all wrinkled from the rain so i took of my sock and threw them out, i dried out my shoes and put lotion on my feet then they got better. i felt comfortable at the parking lot and i thought i was safe for a while. i was resting when a blue sedan pulled up i got so scared i jumped up. a guy got out and asked me what i was doing here. i told him nothing and he told me to get lost and i did. but not far. i watched to car go away and i sat a part of the night behing another parking lot next to the dentist. i walked around some got tired and decided i want to sleep. i tried but i couldnt. it was like that the whole night until morning and then i started walking again. i walked for a while but then i new i was too hungry to go far so i saw a gas station and decided i was gonna get something to eat. i put my backpack behind some bushes so the owner wouldnt think i was a runaway. i put my money in my pocket and my ipod. i got in. there was nobody in there. i considered taking some stuff and running out when a middle aged guy came out of the back and said hi. i asked him if he had a bathroom he said yes and gave me a key. i went in and looked at myself in the mirror. i looked ugly and sick. i smelled bad. i washed up and brushed my teeth. i just sat there for a while in the bathroom resting i didnt want to leave. i stayed in there for a while then someone knocked the door. i thought it was the cops. i got up and opened the door. nobody was there. i went to the cashier and bought some soda and chips. the guy asked me where i came from. i got scared again and told him i was new here. he said yes i saw you walking here. he asked me what my ethnicity was and i lied saying i was brazilian. i got out of the gas station and to the bushes where i hid my backpack. it wasnt there. i felt like breaking down. i looked everywhere it was definitly gone.

i just walked and found  a bench and ate the junk. it was enough. i went walking again. i saw a few police cars but they never came to me. i walked until i came to a bus stop and next to it was a mcdonalds and i went in and got change for a 100 dollar bill. they gave me the change and i walked to the bus stop and got in a bus that took me downtown. i walked around downtown all day. i felt so much safer downtown with so many people i wasnt going to get attacked or anything. i sat in front of public library all day watching people come and go. it started to get dark, and a guy came and sat next to me. he was black and he was smoking a cigerette. he looked friendly and stupid so i didnt think he was a threat. he said hi and asked me whats my name. i lied and said im claire. we chatted for sometime he asked me how old i was and i told i was 20 and he believed me. i also told him i was from canada i came to detroit on vacation and my friends were going to pick me up thats why i was waiting here. he said i looked pretty and he wanted my number. i told him a fake number and he told me his which i fakely memorized in my head. he finally left. and i started walking around again untill i saw a city map thingy and on it was a greyhound bus station. i got excited and thought i was going to leave the city. i found a place to sleep in a playground. i slept there that night. and in the morning  i went to a shopping mall bought a backpack some clothes and went to the greyhound and bought a ticket to columbus ohio. i left detroit at 9:30 and arrived in columbus at 2:00.  i stayed in the columbus bus station all night untill morning. and i walked all day and barely did anything else until it got dark. i sat on a bench and waited for a bus to come by. a fat guy came up to me and said hey. i didnt reply to him. he looked disgusting and he smelled like alcohol. he kept rubbing his crotch and i was starting to get scared. he told me he wanted to kick it in with me and that was gonna pay me big time. i told him i was just waiting for a bus and to leave me alone. he kept getting closer to me i backed up until i got off the bench. the bus finally came and he said bye and gave me a forceful hug and a kiss on the forehead. i ran into the bus and the bus driver asked me what was that all about. he told me that i probably turned the poor guy on and thats why he did what he did. i got was shaking through the whole ride and i finally got off by a abandoned gas station and stayed there for a part of the night. across the street was parked a police car. i got up and went behind the gas station and just sat there. i fell asleep. i woke up to flashing red lights. it was the cops. one of them was kneeling next to looking at me another was standing by the car and he was saying something into a walkie-talkie. i got up and the one that was kneeling asked me why i was sitting here. i just shrugged and they kept asking me questions and my mind wasnt clear. i just told them the truth and they put me inside the police car and took me to the police station. they bought in a female cop and she asked me questions saying who was i with and his name and everything. i kept telling her i wasnt with anybody but she didnt believe me. the two other cops came in and asked me who i was with. i kept telling the truth but they didnt believe. they called my dad and they told me he was coming over. i started crying but they didnt feel sorry for me. they thought i was on drugs or something. my dad finally came i can see he was mad, and no matter what i said they didnt believe me. i cryed so hard that day (and i never cried in front of someone but that day i cried and it was so embarrasing) my dad took me home. he kept telling me who i was with and he wouldnt leave me alone. i wanted to jump out the window and just die. he kept asking and asking. when i got home my mom was home and she was crying. i thought she looked stupid she wanted me to feel sorry for her but i never will. my dad got me into a room with mom. and looked the door and told me if i didnt tell him where i was and who i was with he would kill me. i thought i embarrased myself enough by crying and everything else. i just wanted to die. i told him to his face ( that was the most bravest thing i ever did and it came with consequenses) that i didnt care if he killed me and that he was going to jail anyway. he got up and punch me so hard on the face that my tooth fell out. it hurt real bad and i was bleeding. the lower part of my teeth were bended into my tounge. as much as i wanted to stay tough i cried cuz it hurt so bad. my mom screamed for him to leave me alone. i went into the bathroom to get cleaned up and i locked the door. he followed me and he banged on the door for me to come out. mom finally got him to calm down. they didnt take me to the dentist until the next day. they fixed my teeth. the doctor asked me did anybody hit me, and i rilly wanted to tell the truth but i didnt.

its 2 years later now. Im 17 and i dont regret it. i still hate my parents although im not as rebellious. i hated them so much that i thought if i got married i would get to leave but i got married and i didnt leave yet. so its my fault now im married to a stupid guy who i cant stand most of the time i dont go to school anymore and i barely do anything anymore. i told my parents to forgive me for what i did and they did, but deep down in my heart i still hate them. my runaway experience was great and i think if i had some extra money it would have turned out better. my mom pretends she is so hurt by what i did sometimes i believe her, but she still says mean things to me, and she told just a few days ago she wishes i was gone. i cryed that night, and i want to runaway again but this time i know its impossible so im not going to even try.















Acrystal Acrystal
6 Responses Mar 16, 2010

Can you give me some courage to run away please

I wonder what happened to her...

Sending love to you wherevr you are

Your 17 and married?

i was a runaway like you except i ranaway long periods of times but with parents like that you shouldn't forgive them but a lot of people wants to please their parents to get their love <br />
I didn't like my mom either for some reason she would pick on my lil sis commenting on everythin she did and what made me evn more mad was that my mom would get drunk when i ranaway and my younger sis would be over at a friends house so my lil sis back then was 8 would had to take care of my mom thats wat made me not runaway <br />
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And i've been involved with the police many times and they would look at you dirty if you slept on the bench or anbywhere that didn't onvolve sleepin at home i remember one time one police demanded to take me to juvie i didn't know if he wanted to teach me a lesson or the fact im mexican (the ratings of police brutallity in Washington is high because of race)<br />
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to lokicua: I think you should do it but wait until your 17 (depends on when your birthday is) <br />
If your life is that bad then at least you have an actual safe place to go to instead of the streets like i did and let me tell you on the streets it's scary if you go to the wrong spot and i went to the wrongs spots i remember almost tryin to get a cops attention by giving him/her the finger cause this drunk hobo kept following me and my friend <br />
also at least you have a friend or a group to go with cause when i ranaway i always went with a friend or two

ooommmmgggg i dont know how close i coud get with just a coment but i feel your feelings morethan you can believe!!! my real father, i dont even call him my father, i call him my paternal guardian, is abusive about anything and will pound and beat my head until i start feeling dizzy and then i cant even feel it anymore...and that will be for any "misconduct" that he thnks is "bad" that i may do one day...<br />
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currently im in the process of buying a secret celphone and paying the monthly bill with lunch dont know how suprised i was when u talkd about how u had a secret ipod and u coudnt hav internet tv or phone or friends, and the only place you could get away waas school...but you se my problem is that the problems at home just overwhelm me to the point where it stops me from having fun at school and being social and normal..the problems just linger around me like a cloud and stop me from being social...<br />
so now im 16 and im about to graduate 11th gradea nd i have my plan of "running away" but im going with a friend and his friend and his girlfriend and were gonna go and live in a house with their adult uncle ; itll be crowded but at least it will be a safe reliable place with steady paying rent where police will be sure not to check = ]. but heres the father is just about as aggresive as yours or maybe more, and i brought up the subject one day and they already gave me a preview about how they wouldhave an amber alert and police at the borders of the state waiting to catch me...and missing posters all over...but i dont have any idea how they woud find me because since they dont let me have friends (but of course i have my own secret life), but since they dont let me have friends, they would have no idea of who to track and no names to tell the police ...and ti make it better in my room i will leave a fake map of my plan on where im going to run away to, with the fake city/state and fake names of people and everything...i'll send them on a wild chase alriight !!! ill be on one side of the country while theyll be searching for me on the other !<br />
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if i had 1 question to ask you (Marji) it woud be did you have any friends at the time whose house you could have gone to? and do you have any advice for me? or does anybody else have advice for me?

one is not bound my birth but by heart. If you don't like the guy....end it, ya don't like your parents? wait it out. You have been caged, I was once locked in a room when i was younger, only school food is what i got. I believe that you'll show them, like you want to. That you're better then what they think of you....but not goin to school, i'm 20 barely found a job, and am still workin on my diploma....listen i know I ramble, jus don't give up...on yourself, your willpower, and what you wanna be.