I Was Abandoned By My Father
For the first 5 1/2 years of my life I was daddy's girl. He took me everywhere and got me special little things. He treated me better than my 2 older siblings. I was his favorite. Then my little sister was born and I was cast aside. He didn't want me around anymore. He barely spoke to me unless I was introuble.
4 1/2 years after that my parents got a divorce and my mom moved us to another state. The following summer we went to stay with him. I ended up taking care of my younger siblings all summer and my dad avoiding us at all costs. All of us except my little sister. After that summer he was told he couldn't have us for the summer unless he got us a babysitter. He refused. We never went back to stay with him again.
He would call us on Christmas and Fathers day (yep) because my grandma (his mom) would make him call us. Those were the only days he would actually do it though. When she passed away he stopped calling all together.
He came for my brother's graduation. The first of us to graduate. He stood to be acknowledged with the rest of the parents like he had done something to help my brother make it through school. He promised me that he would come to my graduation the following year. He didn't. Not even with my mom offering to pay half the expenses.
About a month after I had my daughter I called my dad to have him take me off his company insurance that I had been on because state laws required him to provide insurance and child support (the only thing he did right up until recently (I have siblings at home still) was not run from child support). I got a hold of his work, the only number I could find for him and left a message for him. The receptionist that answered told me he talked about us all the time. I was angry. I asked if he had told them all that he hadn't seen us in almost 3 years and before that it had been 6 or 7 years since he had seen us. She was shocked and said "he talks about you all the time, I assumed you were close". Again angry I said "well then I suppose he's told you all about his son-in-law and grandbabies than huh". I told her to have him take me off the insurance and said goodbye. Later that day he called me angry that I hadn't invited him to the wedding and he hadn't been invited to my brothers either. He was also angry he hadn't been informed about the pregnancies or grandbabies. I tried to find get a hold of him but he never returned my calls or I was to young to call. So I stopped trying. It wasn't like he was putting in any effort.
A year into my marriage my husband wanted our daughter to have a relationship with her grandfather. I told him my dad wasn't like that. He would only hurt her. He pushed. So I called around and after hours and hours of calling and searching I found his number. It had been a year or more since we spoke last. I called and right off the bat he accused me of abandoning him and not calling him since the day we moved away. I was a child. I didn't know how to use long distance and its not like we ever had the number either. I ended the call in tears.
Three years passed and I got in touch with him because my mom needed some info from him but doesn't have a number and refuses to speak with him anyways so I found him. This time I sent him pictures (of all the grandkids, my siblings are still mad at me for that) and told him about his 2nd grand daughter. I also told him to make an effort or this time I was done finding him. I have always looked and I have always tried to keep in touch. He makes it impossible. I'm an idiot for trying. He tried for 3-4 months of texting back and forth on occasion. Then nothing.
Recently I had some major issues come up and wanted (stupidly) to talk to my dad. He talked to me for 20-30mins and reassured me he would call me again to check on me. I fell for it like usual. That was over a month ago. No word. Nothing. I haven't seen the guy in at least 7-8 years. And I probably won't ever see him again.
It's stupid but because he would always call on fathers day and Christmas I always check my phone constantly to see if he's called or texted. He hasn't done that in 10th years or so but I hold on to that hope. I don't know why I've hung on so long and so desperately to a man who hasn't wanted me around since I was 5. It's pathetic.
4 1/2 years after that my parents got a divorce and my mom moved us to another state. The following summer we went to stay with him. I ended up taking care of my younger siblings all summer and my dad avoiding us at all costs. All of us except my little sister. After that summer he was told he couldn't have us for the summer unless he got us a babysitter. He refused. We never went back to stay with him again.
He would call us on Christmas and Fathers day (yep) because my grandma (his mom) would make him call us. Those were the only days he would actually do it though. When she passed away he stopped calling all together.
He came for my brother's graduation. The first of us to graduate. He stood to be acknowledged with the rest of the parents like he had done something to help my brother make it through school. He promised me that he would come to my graduation the following year. He didn't. Not even with my mom offering to pay half the expenses.
About a month after I had my daughter I called my dad to have him take me off his company insurance that I had been on because state laws required him to provide insurance and child support (the only thing he did right up until recently (I have siblings at home still) was not run from child support). I got a hold of his work, the only number I could find for him and left a message for him. The receptionist that answered told me he talked about us all the time. I was angry. I asked if he had told them all that he hadn't seen us in almost 3 years and before that it had been 6 or 7 years since he had seen us. She was shocked and said "he talks about you all the time, I assumed you were close". Again angry I said "well then I suppose he's told you all about his son-in-law and grandbabies than huh". I told her to have him take me off the insurance and said goodbye. Later that day he called me angry that I hadn't invited him to the wedding and he hadn't been invited to my brothers either. He was also angry he hadn't been informed about the pregnancies or grandbabies. I tried to find get a hold of him but he never returned my calls or I was to young to call. So I stopped trying. It wasn't like he was putting in any effort.
A year into my marriage my husband wanted our daughter to have a relationship with her grandfather. I told him my dad wasn't like that. He would only hurt her. He pushed. So I called around and after hours and hours of calling and searching I found his number. It had been a year or more since we spoke last. I called and right off the bat he accused me of abandoning him and not calling him since the day we moved away. I was a child. I didn't know how to use long distance and its not like we ever had the number either. I ended the call in tears.
Three years passed and I got in touch with him because my mom needed some info from him but doesn't have a number and refuses to speak with him anyways so I found him. This time I sent him pictures (of all the grandkids, my siblings are still mad at me for that) and told him about his 2nd grand daughter. I also told him to make an effort or this time I was done finding him. I have always looked and I have always tried to keep in touch. He makes it impossible. I'm an idiot for trying. He tried for 3-4 months of texting back and forth on occasion. Then nothing.
Recently I had some major issues come up and wanted (stupidly) to talk to my dad. He talked to me for 20-30mins and reassured me he would call me again to check on me. I fell for it like usual. That was over a month ago. No word. Nothing. I haven't seen the guy in at least 7-8 years. And I probably won't ever see him again.
It's stupid but because he would always call on fathers day and Christmas I always check my phone constantly to see if he's called or texted. He hasn't done that in 10th years or so but I hold on to that hope. I don't know why I've hung on so long and so desperately to a man who hasn't wanted me around since I was 5. It's pathetic.
By:
Li1miz
Age:
22-25
,
Female
