Abandoned By The Man I Look Like.

So, I suppose I have less to complain about, but here goes.
When I was younger, my parents had split custody. Every week was a switch between houses. Moms, dads, moms, dads. You know the drill. I hated the arrangement, but did my best to live with it.
Until, when I was seven years old, my dad stopped taking us for his week. My mom got full custody.
But here's the thing that bugged me. My dad is over six foot tall. My mom is just over five.
In looks, I take after my father.
So imagine a six year old, twice the size of the kids her age, playing with them. Because of my moms small stature, everyone assumed I was mentally disabled. I grew up in a world that was too small for me because my dad left me behind when he decided that he wasn't a good dad.
Next to my dad, everyone could tell that I was the age I was. The size difference between my parents caused my entire life to be treated like a kid who needs to be constantly watched over.
Nowadays, I haven't seen him for nearly three years.
There are days when I really want to hurt him. When I just want to grab him by the hair and scream in his face.
And then there are the days when I just want to ask him why.

I'm forgetting what his face looks like.

I don't remember what his voice sounds like.

I'm almost exactly what he would look like as a young girl.

And despite what he did, sometimes I can't help but wonder if it was my fault.
My parents split right after I was born, moved into separate houses when I was three, and despite "reassurances" that I'm not to blame, I don't know if I can believe it.
Miserablyme Miserablyme
18-21, F
Sep 18, 2012