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And Then He Was Gone.

When I was six years old my parents got divorced. My father moved out and me and my sister stayed with my mother. My father would see us once in the two weeks.
I can still remember me and my sister waiting at my grandmothers house on the couch before the window. We have been sitting there for hours waiting for my father to come and pick us up. He never came.
For the past 12 years I haven't heard anything of him. I don't know where he lives, I don't know what he does, I don't know if I have more sisters or brothers, I don't even know what he looks like anymore. What I do know is that he obviously doesn't care about me.
I found a letter addressed to me a few months ago, which my mother never gave to me, it's from 2001. This is a part of it:

'Here is a letter from your dad.
I'm sorry for what happened, but I want to tell you this:
Daddy loves you a lot, he wasn't always there, he made some faults, but he loves you very much.
It hurts me so much to have to write this letter, you should know what this does to me right now......
[......]
You'll see daddy later, and he'll try to support you if it's possible.
You also need to know this: it's my fault that everything went wrong between mommy and daddy, and between us. I'm sorry!!!!
[....]
Sweetheart I wish you a very happy life and I hope I will be able to see this.'

I don't know how he EVER could have written this.. He never ever tried to contact me.
He wishes me a happy life? Well, he didn't quite help giving that to me.
He never said goodbye, he never gave me a reason why..

All I know is that after this (or maybe even before this) everything got dangerous and he ended up in jail for a while. I know it's better that I don't know him, I just wish I would have had a dad in my life too, just like the other kids.

I think about this too much, and I don't know how to deal with it.
Quibbler Quibbler 18-21, F Jan 13, 2013

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