Desterate to Meet the Man I Have Never Met!

My mother met my father in abu dhabi 29 yrs ago, they had a fling, she fell pregnant, he chose not to marry her, meaning she had to then leave the country where she move to the UK as it was illegal to have a child out of wedlock.

they stayed in contact via letters for a short while then lost touch and my mother never heard from him again.

I have grown up my whole life with just my mother and am desperate to know who my father is. I have been searching for him for almost 17 yrs, i have only been told he may be dead but this could not be confirmed, which if this is true then i can accept, all i want now is just to be able to find him, see a picture, just something for my piece of mind as the older i get become the harder it gets.

allypetersdaughter allypetersdaughter
2 Responses Apr 27, 2009

Not all fathers who aren't there for their child are bad. <br />
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MY STORY: <br />
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This is going to be unusual in that this submission is from a dad who has been constantly aching because he may have a son or daughter somewhere out there who he has never met. The child would probably be about 23 years old by now. Mary Edwards and I met while she was visiting California from somewhere in Kentucky. We met at the Seal Beach Pier and it grew into a summer romance that lasted maybe 2 -3 weeks. She went back home to Kentucky (she told me the city or town in which she lived but I never could remember it. It was a funny sounding name I think). Some time passed and she called me in tears, and told me she was pregnant. I’ll say I panicked trying to figure out what we were going to do next. I was an uneducated, minimum wage employee who couldn’t support myself. I was previously homeless and living under the Huntington Beach Pier (while dodging the Beach Patrol Officers who would run transients away). So, in my panicking state of mind I suggested abortion (which I was raised better than that and don’t encourage it at all. I am sorry I ever brought it up). She said she could not do that because her family would disown her. I told her to let me think about it and try to figure out what we’re gonna do and to call me back in a day or so (can’t remember exactly). She gave me a number and told me I could also call her collect anytime. I wrote it down on an art pad. I had a roommate at the time, some things transpired and the roommate and I had a falling out. While I was at work my roommate thought to get rid of my sketches and painting that I had worked so hard on as “payback” I guess. (It may have been an accident) Mary’s number was on that sketch pad. I never called Mary and she never called me back. I am guessing she did not call me back because I mentioned the abortion and she thought I was not interested. But actually, I had been discussing with my mother about our situation and I was ready to relocate and do the right thing but now I couldn’t call Mary. This has haunted me for over 20 years. It’s my fault for not making the right decision when Mary first told me. I make myself sick in the stomach and at heart thinking about my baby boy or baby girl who I have never met.<br />
I have searched and searched but cannot find Mary. “Edwards” is such a common name. I have done many, many, many, email searches and emailed several people by the name “Mary Edwards” and all say they are not the Mary I am looking for. I don’t know what she named the child or where they live. I don’t know who Mary married. If Mary has never told the child about me and the child grew up believing someone else was their biological father, I would not want to cause any problems with their family, and would not do anything which Mary does not approve. If she has told the child about me and the child wants to know me and wants questions answered, I would do my best to be very transparent with my answers. If Mary reads this I want her to know how sorry I am. I remember her as a loving young lady with a big heart. Our child is lucky to have her as a mother. I never meant to disappear and be out of the babies life. I wrote a song called, “Somewhere Down On Seal Beach” that is about my meeting & memories with Mary. It’s on the jamwave website. My family has always known I have been looking for Mary and our child. My wife of the last 16 years, and all three of my children know of the possibility that I may have a son or daughter we have never met. My mother knew about it but passed away in 2001 of cancer. When I look at my children now, I wonder what their big brother or sister looks like and what they are doing now. I wish I could tell them that I never meant not to be in their life. I left California and lived in Arizona for awhile. I now live in Tennessee and I am still searching. It is hard because I don’t know what city she lives in, the child’s name, or Mary’s married name.<br />
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E. Stewart

i 2 was bastardised by my father 42 years ago, when i found him ,, it was another huge hurt as i was bastardised yet again. he was a self absorbed man who probably never gave me a thought. some times its better to leave well enough alone.if he wanted a relationship he would have wanted to find u. dont tourcher yourself,, its not u,, its him. my heart goes out to you.