I Love My Father Even After He Abandoned Me
I remember when I was a child in the comforts of my home with my mother and father. One day I could hear them arguing, then my dad was gone and he didn't come back. My father abandoned me. I cried until I was almost 50 years old and as I am writing this article, my eyes feel with tears again. How could he leave me, his wonderful little girl? But it is important to get a grip and move on, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
SEEK A QUALITY LIFE-It's okay to cry and talk about your father sometimes but don't let the fact that your father left consume you and destroy your life. He abandoned you, your siblings, your mother and his responsibilities. We take this situation all so personal and there is nothing we can do but move forward. Anything else could hold us back from having a quality life.
EMBRACE THOSE THAT LOVE YOU-Focus on those that do love you. After your father left, did your mother or another relative take good care of you the best they could? If you have the opportunity to receive genuine love and concern from others, take it. This is an extremely important step because we all need love in our lives. As humans we thrive from positive interaction from other humans.
DON'T HATE-It is foretold in the Bible in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 that people would end up not having natural affection. So if your dad abandoned you, don't hate. At some point in his life he was encoded with selfish tendencies and you just happened to be affected by his selfish actions...he is only human. Hopefully he finds a way to seek a happy, healthy life. You want the best for him and yourself. Harboring hatred towards someone is unhealthy and can drain you mentally and physically. So let me remind you again, DO NOT HATE.
DON'T BE JEALOUS-If your father left you when you were a little girl or boy, married another woman and took care of her kids or they had kids together, don't be jealous. Try to bond with your step brothers and sisters if you have the opportunity. They could end up becoming your best friends.
TALK IT OUT-If you can locate your father, try to talk to him to understand what happend and listen to his side of the story. A lot of things could have happened in his childhood or as an adult that left him incapable of handling responsibility. Perhaps your parents had a fling that resulted in pregnancy and they felt they just had to get married. This is no excuse not to love you, but it doesn't help the situation.
LEARN FROM OTHERS-Throughout my life I have managed to take steps to deal with my father leaving. No doubt from this information I am sharing with you, you can tell I am still working on it. But you better believe I have come a long way. One day I was watching a biography about Mary J Blige, the Hip Hop Artist (Great Artist) and she was talking about her relationship with her father and how they had to overcome difficult times. It was very enlightening and it encouraged me to take some positive steps to move on. Seek out relationships with non-toxic people and read books about positive lifestyles and successes.
MOVE ON-To all of you out there that can relate to this situation, I want you to brace up, move on and be the best person you can be. Lift your head high and take a tight hold of the hands and hearts of the people that love you. Life is a journey and you create your own happiness. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I hope you do too.