I Dont Know Why? I Dont Know What To Do?

I was abandoned by my mother when i was barely 6 months old and have never met her, I was told by my father that she had her heart set on a girl and didnt want a boy!
Im now 34 years old and have my own son but have never been able to hold down a relationship, have suffered with depression pretty much all my life which I keep to myself, and have never been in contact with my mother. My step mother died when I was 13.
My father now lives in Germany and I havent spoken to him for 6 years.
I have always thought I wanted to try and make contact with my mother and to my amazement I recently found her, on facebook of all places! I sent a few messages which were ignored for a while but then after the 3rd or 4th message, after I had simply asked "are you the biological mother of *****" she replied with a simple "Yes"
That was it, no, "how are you" or "sorry", Just "yes"

Looking at her fb profile I discovered she had 3 daughters and 2 sons listed on her family tree, the eldest daughter born no more than 2 years after I was born!

I really dont know what to think about this anymore? I guess I had always told myself that she must have been young and wasnt ready for children (she was 16) but to see she had been pregnant again within 6 months of abandoning me blows that idea right away?

These are my brothers and sisters, but I dont know if I should contact them or not? Somebody told me to follow my gut feeling but I really dont have one?

They have pictures on fb of the whole family together and they all look so happy, I feel very lonely and dont know what to do?
brier78 brier78
31-35, M
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

Let her know how your feel. Let her know exactly how you feel. Use your words as best as you can to describe everything from within. You have to remember, when a person brings a child into this world, they have a universal moral to raise their child, so you are not at fault and should not feel awkward about contacting her. It may open a door or close a door, but you have to find out and never ask, "what if."

I found my mom years back, but it was a hurtful experience. However, I am glad I got it over with.

Wishing you the best,

Rudy