My Mother Abandoned Me Many Times

my father was a drunk and my mother left him and in so doing, abandoned her only daughter. the first time this happened was when i was twelve. she came back after 4 months to my father and me when her boyfriend screwed her up badly and left her for dead. then two years later, she found another man and left me again, this time....for many years. I lost count. And recently she was broke and came back and I thought I had my mother back, I helped her out with money and we were happy for the past two years, and now she's gone again with yet another man. I don't understand...why did she give birth to me if she didn't love me? I thought my depression would help her see that she's hurting me, but somehow she needed men more that anything. i'm ashamed to have a mother like that.

camxn camxn
26-30
1 Response Feb 15, 2009

Not your fault in any way, shape or form! Your mother sounds like a very lost woman. If she keeps running after men, and bad ones at that, she is searching for something that she can't seem to give herself. She needs counseling. I'm sure she love you in her own way, but just cannot show it the way you need her to show it. Accept that she is this way and find loving friends and other loving family members to spend time with. I would also recommend counseling for yourself as there are probably a lot of unresolved issues you need to work through. Good luck on your journey and always know that you are not alone.