Nobody Can Replace a Mother

My mother was an alcoholic and really abusive to me. She abandoned us when i was 11. She was always really nice to my older brother and sister but she treated me like ****. When nobody was around she beat me then if she left marks she blamed it on my brother and sister and my dad always believed her. I always joked around about how horrible of a mother she was, my dad and i even call her the hag but on the inside it really hurts. She always hated me and told me she tried to not have me by drinking when she was pregnant with me. Not having a mother is the hardest thing i've ever been through especially through teenage years. Even today i would give anything to just have a nice mother its a huge hole in my heart that will never be filled. Nobody can replace a mother.
jaegermeister2550 jaegermeister2550
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 1, 2009

You are right to think that helping someone else may make your own suffering better. I am so sorry you have that hole but at least there are some women that are showing you that you have value. We can never know how someone else can be so cruel but please know it has nothing to do with you. It is about her selfishness and lack of self control. May you continue to find people that value, respect, and love you and that you can love in return.

not much. i've recently been talking to a therapist after a suicide attempt at school...a really great teacher and social worker at school have been helping me. the only thing that keeps me going is hope that one day i can help somebody in the way that i'm being helped because really if it wasnt for them i wouldnt be alive right now. <br />
its hard to go through life without the bond you have with a mother and even the little things like hearing i love you and a hug from the person you came out of but you just have to be strong. you cant replace your mother but you can be a great one in the future and i know when i have a kid im gonna be SUCH a better mother than mine was to me and if i have to deal with some **** now to make somebodys life better in the future than so be it.

so what do you do to fn feel better about it