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Parents Always Put Their Children First... Not My Dad.

To start off I am just going to give a short background story:
My mother died when I was 6, and my dad was not in my life really until that point. When I was in 3rd grade he had a physically abusive girlfriend and when I was in 7th he had another girlfriend who was not only mentally abusive but used my dad for his money and stability. When they started getting serious he said (mind you, in front of me), "I will ALWAYS put you first" he said to his girlfriend. Now for the story:

I am 15 years old and in 10th grade. Last year, I was more depressed than ever in my life. I lived with my best friend over the summer and some of the school year. My dad met this new girlfriend, *Alex and at first I hated her, of course, I don't trust women. And so after a while I begin to like her and stuff when my dad lays a bombshell on me. He were being evicted from our apartment (where we stayed on weekends). He said he was moving to Alex's house and said I could come with or stay if it were okay with my friend. I, wanting my father to be happy, went along and realized it was hell. They fought all the time, I had to share a bedroom with her son which was not apart of the agreement and they made me do EVERYTHING besides cook. Otherwise she had nothing to do, my dad had nothing to do (besides work (for both)) and her son didn't have any chores. I had no friends at this new school and to make matters worse i started in at the middle of the year. I had no friends, bad home life and I cut. One day I put a sign on the door saying "no one come in" and my dad comes in and says "This is his room too you can't just Lock yourself in here! If he wants in you have to let him in!" And doesn't even realize the tear stains, or my mood, or how numb I was... I had no one... I thought he was supposed to be there for me... He then later (like 4months) kicked me out. I now live with a drunk *** grandpa who gets pissed a lot and fights me all the time. He also expects me to do things for him! I'm not a ******* maid! Do your own ******* laundry for gosh sakes. My Dad and I now have a strenuous relationship and I don't like his girlfriend for kicking me out either. Yeah, I made a few mistakes but everyone makes mistakes. Life doesn't come with an instruction manual.
rockchick1681 rockchick1681 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 27, 2012

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Thank you rockchick1681. I read your story also, I am sorry you are going through that. I feel bad for complaining sometimes when I read others stories because there is always somone who had/has it worse. In my case, at least the physical abuse stopped after she was caught.I had a home,clothes and food to eat. But the control issues were just as bad. I never had to do chores like you describe because my mother was such a control freak, if she saw I did not do it the way she wanted it done I would get yelled at and made to feel stupid for "not doing it right" I have more negative memories than positive of my mother. Today, I have cut her out of my life because I do not want her to have a negative impact on my marrige or children. The down side of this is my father has chosen to side with her and has said he will not talk/or contact me ever again unless I have a change of heart about letting the kids see my mother. So, even though my parents are alive, it is though they are dead to me, my father by his own choice. It really hurts and if anything ever happened to my husband I would be alone in this world(only child/no other relatives,my childen are small). What I really want to tell you is as hard as it may seem you have to soldier through those tough times, don't let their actions have a negative impact on yourself, if you cut yourself the only person you are hurting is you.

Also, Please don't turn to drugs or alcohol as an "escape", you will only ruin your own life or even worse turn out like the ones who cause you pain. You have to look towards the future and think of ways and act in ways that better yourself so you can rise above.Choose your freinds carefully, a girl like you who is going through things like this can be vulnerable to bad influence. You must stay determined to be the opposite of those who hurt you. Only you can make your future better.Choices you make now will affect your future.

Even though I had a tough childhood, I have never used it as an excuse for bad behavior, I treat others the way I want to be treated, I try to show only kindness to other people(I know people/my mother included who say "I was beated as a child, so thats what I learned, thats BS!) I have a college education, a good career until I resigned to stay at home with kids, a happy marrige for 13 yrs and wonderful children. Also, always be independant, have a back up plan. Its tough to think about, but if something happened to my husband, I could be independant thanks to having a college education/career to fall back on. Now, emotionally if that happened, I would fall apart! He is my rock, we had similar childhoods(his was actually a lot worse) so we understand each other.He also is a good example of not letting childhood expereince impact your life negatively, he has been independant and had a job since 15, he now has his own business and is he best dad/husband ever! If we can perservere out of the crap we have been through, I know you can. I know your life seems tough now, but let me tell you you life really won't begin until after HS. Until then, use EP as support, read others stories, because like I said their are others who have it worse. Their stories will keep you from feeling sorry for yourself and give you strength. Find a local support group to go to, talk to someone you can trust or a counseler (at school maybe?) when you are feeling down. Just don't keep your feelings bottled up, and not to be corny(remember I am over 30).... Stay in school, get an education, stay away from drugs and alcohol and people who do. Stay strong my young freind.

Thank you for replying and sharing your story I really appreciate it! I sometimes feel as though people don't read my stories so I enjoy when people comment sharing their own reactions and personal experiences with the same problem. I am sorry to hear what happened with your mother and that your father sided with her:/ that must have been terrible. And thanks for all the advice you have given me. I really have taken that and used it daily now. And trust me, I'm staying in school, and I don't do drugs or smoke nor will I ever do that... Thanks again! :) you really helped me. :)