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My Brother Abandoned Me When I Was 15

I was 15 yrs old when my parents died, my older brother was married to his second wife at the time and she was a royal *****. Her father owned a successful company so she was a rich daddys brat, she never liked our family because we were low income and we were not welcome to their house. So when my parents funerals were done and they were buried it came time to decide where I was going to stay at. Social Services stepped in and provided me with a caseworker she had my brother and I come to her office and talk to her about where I was going to be staying at til I turned 18 she asked me who I wanted to stay with and of course I said my brother. She asked me to step out and have my brother and his wife come in so I did. I sat in a chair right next to the door and I could hear everything they talking about, when the caseworker asked my brother if he could take care of me. He hesitated and said no tjat it be too much to handle and his wife said that they couldn't control me that I ran with the wrong crowd and that I was a "she really said this" hooligan. I was shocked by this and I wanted to burst in there and tear her apart but my brothers first wife showed up and calmed me down she offered to take in for awhile til I social services could figure where I could go. She didn't have to do this, she was taking care of her two kids that she had with my brother. So I ended up in a foster home a month later. I lost touch with my brother after he moved out of town.It's been 25 years since I have a great medical career, married to a beautiful wife with 3 awesome kids. I just found out where my brother lives, part of me wants to contact him and tell what he did was shameful and it hurt alot. But I wonder should I leave him alone and let bygones be bygones. Let me know what you would do thanks
An Ep User An EP User 2 Responses Jan 23, 2013

Your Response


Wow, I can't imagine how hard that must have been. My older brother left 10 years ago and refuses to have contact with our family - except for my dad - he talks very minimally to him. I've definitely felt abandoned too, but in a very different way. I'm so sorry you went through that. I know you posted this a long time ago, but I felt compelled to respond. I hope that you've made contact with him. My advice would be to process through everything with a good friend or counselor (counseling is SO great and I think everyone should go at least once. It's just a healthy thing to do - there shouldn't be any shame in it), do the hard work of sincerely forgiving your brother, and contact him to re-establish your relationship. Let the past be the past, choose to release him from anything he owes you, and make an effort to get to know him again. Hopefully there will be reconciliation in the future if it hasn't happened already, but I think in order to have any sort of relationship with him, forgiveness is essential. If I ever see my brother again, I just want to have a relationship again...I don't want to be angry or make him pay for what he did. I just want my brother back. If he ever wants to apologize, I will be so happy, but I can't expect him to. I wish you the best!

PS. Mat Kearney just released this song called "Moving On" that I love. It says - "forgive and let live and move on." There is so much freedom in that. Don't hold on to bitterness. It will only keep you bound and be destructive to you and your family.

PPS. I do believe that the only way to know true love and forgiveness and reconciliation and freedom is through knowing Jesus. My faith has given me the strength to forgive and love - because I know that everything I've ever done has been forgiven by the God of the universe, who loved me and died for me - and rose again to defeat death and give me life and peace forever. I did everything NOT to deserve that, but still he loves. I pray that you find this true life and freedom too, if you don't already know it. You are so very loved and your life has an incredible, unique, beautiful purpose.

i'd say **** the bastard and his ***** and go on with your life you have a med career perhaps a doctor hell live it up man