why Doesn't She Love Me?
Growing up in a white suburban life. Living a silent secret.because I felt embarrass but showing my face to my sibling and the oldest one thinking they would have known why? Rebelled against my mother and father thinking this would help "thrown them all to the dogs" i used to tell my youth counsel that anyway. Marring to get out of the house and only to have married some one like my secret and having a baby; I couldn't and rejected the baby and finally asking for help take care of the baby be its' guardians that's what I asked my 2 sisters but no help again. Gave up the parental rights cause of my anger and the rejection I so put in my mind that I had to do something that was best for the child's safety. Left home came to visit but not often and for most of my siblings would say to me "you ran from your mothers love" how could this be when I Asked her for help also feeling guilt of always asking "why doesn't she tell me she loves me?" until the death of my mother came all of a sudden duded to diabetes complications she was 65 years old. Then years latter past one of my sisters called me just to hatefully tell me "they all knew for 30 years old molested secret . Mental breakdown crept up survived push my self to health and received another relative call of and an inheritance. I was sick-my mother knew then of my secret didn't help me then when I was 9 years old and didn't help me when I asked all my family for help so I could keep my child. I realized why she never told me she love me and why my sister and brother said I ran from her love. Cause hoping the dirty money would save their ugly hearts and now I'm glad I did not accept it -cause it was only hush up money.