Love Doesn't Have to Hurt

On Oct 3rd 1987 I was 19 I met a guy and I thought he was my dream come true he treated me great , we did everything together I even went on a week long trip to Fla. with him and his parents , 8 months later we got married about a month after that my dream turned bad , he got mad one day and lost his temper and hit me in the face he blacked my eye , I had to lie to my family & friends about what happened but deep down they all knew , from that day on my ex husband knew that he had me right where he wanted me , so when he would ask me to do something and I didn't do it the way he wanted it he would hit me , but he would always hit me in places that no one could see , like my head , legs & back , he  pulled my hair so hard that it would come out , A few months later I went to the DR. and found out that I was almost 2 months Pregnant , When I got home he was upset about something so I thought if I told him it would make him happy , but it just made things worse he started yelling at me saying that it wasn't his baby and then he hit me in the stomach , I lost my baby about 3 days later , as the years went by the fights got worse , I had 4 more miscarriages and by then my family and friends started asking Questions so he moved us to Fla . that way no one could see my bruises anymore , So in  1994 ( 5 and half years after we got married  ) I decided that I had enough , when he went to work I packed some things and went to stay with a friend until I could get back home to my family , A week later he found me I was outside with my friends kids and he came up behind me and before I knew it he had me on the ground punching me in the face , he broke my nose and blacked both of my eyes , but that was the last time that he ever touched me ( No I didn't kill him ) but I did have the nerve to divorce him , and I will never let another man put his hands on me like that again , I got married again 5 years later and had 2 boys , but that marriage started going bad so I got out of it  , If you are in a relationship and being abused Please get help no one has the right to hurt you , Love doesn't have to hurt .


                                                            ~ Beautiful Disaster ~






41-45, F
14 Responses Sep 14, 2006

Feel very sorry to hear that. I have a friend of mine who has been abused like this for years and she had been given animal pills to make her fat so that she would be unattractive.
We met finally and I made a great impact in her life. She wants to leave him and be with me and I promised her this year it would happen soon

Love and hurt are not mutually agreeable. Good for you that you got out. Too bad it took so long. You should have put him in a grave, but that is my Pennsylvania redneck talking. lol

i am male spend 18 years of marriage only one time slaped to my wife only one time and thought it will not happen in future it happened seventeen years before nothing happened later personaly think that if man hit her wife her angry go on peak and male can not love from here so my opinion if a man hit her wife he can not spend happy life with her

great story

I have a similar story. He brought me to a different country where I know no one but he has lived there for years. He even brought his mom to live with us and she has been living in my home for four years. Hitting me is now becoming a regular occurrence but I never has d nerve to find help. My family is thousands of miles away. I have a five year old and a ten month old. He hit me even when I was pregnant till i was bleeding and has a threatened miscarriage. I lied to the hospital that I fell cos he said to me that I may send him to jail. I have been in constant fear oppression and depression hoping one day he will come to his senses. He became very controlling, manipulating and angry. I hope to get your book and read. I'm talkin to people for help now though it's hard: my culture does not support speaking out that's why a lot of women from my race are either depressed or silenced

I Hope you can now have a good and productive life. My mother had equally disturbing past, losing a baby at six monts after being battered down stairs).Awful. She now works as a social worker.Perhaps you could help other women?

Thanks for sharing that. Just know that when men fail, God does not! God is always faithful and true and he loves you! Turn from your sins, and trust Jesus today (If you haven't already) and he will be your strength when you are weak. He is a father to the fatherless, and a husband to the husbandless! He has been mine. I came out of 3 abusive relationships, but not without the help of Jesus. Next time I will recognize the red flags when I see them and run as fast as I can! But, I hope that won't be the case for you and I and we can finally meet the right guy! Love and Prayers!

Good for you for getting out! :)

Did you know that your story is the 66th post? Just lettin' you know ;)

thats sad but i am glad u got a happy ending

Any man who lays hands on a woman that way should be beaten into unconsciousness every time he comes to from the last beating. That is all I have to say

I admire your courage to be able to stand up and tell your story. Thanks for sharing and hopefully it will help others out there.

Glad you were so strong to get out and regain control of your life, no one should dedicate how you should live.<br />
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Much love for having the strength, and much sympathies on your loss of the babies, I cannot imagine how it must have been.<br />
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