Put The Wall Back Up!!

When I was 12, my mother's brother touched my breasts, reaching into my shirt. I was traumatized and scared, but I didn't tell my mother until years after he died of cancer. He was her brother; in my child's mind, it would be wrong to say such things about her own family. I put up walls to protect me from men, especially family.

After a while, I let the walls crumble. I'm 26 now; what do I have to worry about? A few days ago, I realized that there CAN be more than one pervert in your family, and it doesn't matter what age you are, they can surprise you no matter how well you think you know.

Thanksgiving, family dinner at my aunt's house. I was getting ready to leave, and gave my uncle (by marriage) a hug the way I always do. An uncle I trusted, loved, etc. Until... He tried to kiss me on the lips, and I had to turn away so that he only got my cheek. As I hurried away, hoping that I had only imagined it, he patted my butt. That, I couldn't have imagined.

I told my mother after we got home, and she said that my only recourse was to stay away from him. If we tell my aunt, my mother's sister and his husband, she'll only accuse me of lying. Since that day, I've been numb, very depressed, scared... Just all mixed up inside.

Luckily, I already see a psychiatrist and therapist from when my best friend died 3 years ago and I tried to kill myself shortly after. (When I also felt completely numb.) So hopefully they can help me work through this too.

I can't remember how I put those walls up, but I have to figure out how again. I never thought I would have to distrust my family again, and to be honest, it really hurts.
IAmReaching IAmReaching
31-35, F
2 Responses Nov 25, 2012

Omg, after the ordeals you have been subjected to, which he no doubt would know about, you can't ignore that. he may think that noone will believe you as youve already said it once and "whats the odds of it happening again?" (some ****** peoples opinion) Be strong and confront him in front of witnesses. Never stay alone with him or be put in isolated situations with him. I hope you can overcome this! Inspirational xx

I'm sorry!