My Step-dad Abused Me Too

hello everyone...i can relate i too was abused by my step-dad....this man came into me and mothers life when i was 3...and for whatever reason this man just never liked me nor his family...when my mom would be around they all "loved"...but soon as she would turn her step-dad would kick my ***..ive tried all my life to try and please this man..nothing was ever good enough..the harder i try the more i got my *** kicked..when my little sister was born i thought things would get better...just got worse...not only did the beating get worse but.. then the verbal abuse started as well....i was 6 when my sister was born...i loved my sister...but he wanted me nowhere near her....when my mom told me we had to move with my step-dads 8 years old i wanted to kill myself..cause i knew eveything would get worse..and it sure did...his mother was a witness to me being step dads sister always had different men...and when they would see me i got touched.....she knew...his sister went around and told everyone she knew i was not apart of her the years passed of corse i got older....and he just got worse..drinking made him a real monster....when i turned 12 slapping me in my face turned into puching me in the face.....he would call me fat stupid ugly..i will never be anything.....this hurt me to the core....when i enter high school..i spent so much time at school cause i hated being home.....this man would go thru my room and read my diary...while we would be the dinner mom would tell him to stop going thru my soon as she would leave for work...he beat me with own diary!!....i remember once he beat me with my math book..because i just didnt understand he smacked me rite in the face with....breaking my nose.....i walked around for a week with my nose broken....i told my mom i feel..when she took me to the doctor..he looked me dead in my face and ask me..was i being abused...i said no..cause i didnt want me and my sister to be takin from my mom was my life......when i turned 17 i gave birth to my son....he is the best thing in my life...the day i left the mom had to the ******* came to get me and my child....this man was drunk...almost dropped my son....and he was driving so crazy i was scared to death....i had my son by C-section..anybody that has ever had a c-section knows i takes a minute to heal.....i say this because when we got home he called me all the usual stuff....***** hoe..pushing me...i ask him to stop cause of the baby i was holding...well when i turned around..he says to me your mom had a c-section and she never moved as slow as you!!!...and puched me rite where my scar was....i thought i was going to die....but i never told my mom....never told anyone...when he cheated on my mom and she thru his *** out.....i was so more more being called names...and best of all no more beatings....i grauated high school...i got married...anything was good....then one fine day..i went to go see her..cause i would go see my mom every day and we would have lunch...she says "you know i talk to your father"...i said ok...when she told me we are thinking about getting back together....i was like why?....he never  helped with my lil sister.....and im secretly saying to myself he ****** hates me.....well they got back together..and he was actually nice to me for a bit...i think it was because of my ex husband.....but slowly he became that monster again...i would call my mom and he would say...what do you want..and leave us alone....and then say he was only joking...but i knew son has autism and he started telling my mom it was my fault my son was like and her both knew that not why.....fastforward....when i was 30 i lost my home and my husband asked for a divorce...i wasnt that upset at getting a divorce..i didnt wanna lose my home..cause i knew what future held..that meant me and my son would have to move in with my mom..great!!..except for the fact she was living with the devil....a week after i moved in this ***...punch me in the face because i didnt wanna talk why i lost my marriage...i asked him in a nice way can we not talk about my bussiness..after following me upstairs and in my room all i ask him was leave me alone.....and he punched and spit in my face and then told me thats why ya husband left..cause im a dumb *****...he would wait when my mom and him would have get togethers and tell people how pround of my sister and brother he is..but when it came to me...he would say  she had a baby when she was 17....and that my husband left me cause i couldnt make him ***!!!...everyone would laugh..i would go to my room and 30 he was at it again.....everytime me and my mom would be alone in the house together....we would so much fun..but as soon as the devil would show up...i would go to my room..i stayed in my room depressed long as he was in that house..i stayed in my room....not really saying much to anyone..i decided to go to beauty school..i had been called ugly all my life...i dont ever want anyone to feel how i i became a make-up artist....this is where my got turned upside down......while i was in school my mom found out she had cancer in july of mom passed away in september 10 2009...the 10th was is my stepdad bday....when my mom got sick i didnt know how to handle i stayed in my room and wouldnt say anything to anyone....people started saying i didnt care about my mom...which was totally untrue...whenever i would ask  my stepdad was there anything i could do....he would say  why you dont give a **** about her.....that was the meaneast thing he ever said to me...actually the second meanest.....the day my mom died i was sitting in the dinning room with a friend of mine and the devil came in and said your mother dead now and what you gonna do about it.....i wanted to kill him....a week after my mothers and my son came home to find my step-dad laying in the bed with someone else....that same night he told me i had to go...a week after telling me this i was told he found an apartment for me and my a very shady drug infested area ....he knew the slumlord and my insurance i got when my mother passed ...all 5200.00$...went from my hands rite to this slumlord.....when my mom passed she left it to where all of her kids would be well off.....well leave it up to my stepdad to have the last laugh.....he gave my sister money...gave my brother money...i got nothin...what i did get is to hear about all the "fun"...everyone was having.....he started to torture me driving by my run down apt...telling me you dont deserve anything...your not raising your son rite.....i had very little money and sometimes i didnt have food....i didnt eat sometimes so my son could...also the building i was living was considered by the police to be a drug building....i ask my step-dad again which was hard to do for some money...when he said **** didnt care.....i tried to be done with him for sister even turned agaist me...........smh.......i wanted to write this this is the first time...i ever said anything to this time i have from philadelphia...and i packed everything that was important to me and my son...and moved to north carolina...the last time i spoke with this man...was sat...i had called my sis to tell her me and my son where fine and that i loved her...well she called her daddy/the devil..and called me back to tell me to leave his daugther alone...and that i wasnt **** to him and he hated me all my life...etc doing alot better since we away from that monster for good....if your reading this and this is happening to you or can get thru feels better when you do....and tell someone..dont leave it in for 30 years like i did........peace and blessings
happygirl33 happygirl33
31-35, F
3 Responses Feb 23, 2011

I'm sorry to hear your story. My mother caught my step father "wrestling" with me too sexually. He abused me both sexually and mentally and physically from 4 to 12. I made her promise not to tell him while i still lived with him because I knew the kind of hell I'd have to go through. She told him anyway, and he put a colt 45 to my head, said I was crazy and that he'd use it the next time I lied to my mother. tried to commit suicide a few times. I hated and still hate the Mother F-cker , but my mom chose him instead of me. I remember being so afraid when he'd beat me, I peed my pants. He used to ask me if I wanted a beating or a "belly rub". I tried to run away several times at about 13, but they kept calling the cops and bringing me back. I was so hurt and confused because they were abusive and didn't even talk to me most of the time. Why would they care wtf I did. So the last time I ran away, I made sure they wouldn't find me. I called a youth counsellor after a few months after he promised not to make me go back. I spent the next few years in 7 foster homes and 2 group homes. He was comfortably at home with my mother and brother. I took him to court at about 14 ish, and he got one year of probation with mandatory counselling. He went to one session and left within the first 10 minutes. He said it was B-ll sh-t. They never pursued that. But what I hate now (at 46) is that my mom will not come see me. I don't know why I love her, but I do. And she still picks him. Knowing how bad it hurts me. She said to get over it or she's done talking to me. We had a big fight, which ended up with her being the victim (again) and not talking. All I want is for her to pick me, one time, and love me. I can't make her and its heart breaking. Why do I even care???? How screwed is that?

My step dad was bent over doing something on the floor and i ran up and toe kicked his balls from behind. He curled up for a long time. I was only 7 when i did it. I knew where they were because he let me play with them all the time. I got him good.

Good for you. I'd like to shoot mine.

You are a strong survivor.