The Night I Was Proposed To (aka The Start Of My Fall)

**I warn for those who might be sensative...that this might be somewhat graphic. Read on only if you wish.

 

My Master had an interesting outlook on life. A cruel sense of humor. I was there for his amusement, and that purpose alone. My mind was so broken at this stage, that I had pledged myself to him solely. I was his 24/7 slave. Looking back, I see how stupid I was. But at that time, he was my life. He was my purpose. To serve him and be used by him.

 

The night that I thought was going to be the best night of my life, turned out to be my nightmare. He had set up this gorgeous dinner. He allowed me to eat at the same table as him…that had never happened before. We were almost equals. I say almost because I knew no mater what world we were in, I would never be an equal to him. But he treated me like a person. I was so overwhelmed.

 

Dinner went well, and as we sat in his dining room, he stood and walked up over to me. Looking down, he commanded me to lookup into his eyes, and asked me to marry him. I was in complete shock, and immediately fell to the floor before him on my knees crying. I accepted his proposal, not knowing anything else.

 

It is then, I see it clearly now, when his opinions of me changed. I was truly his now. He owned me now, in every sense of the word.

 

I cleaned up the dinner mess and met him in the spare bedroom as was instructed to. There, he already had the bed saran wrapped and his favorite toys out and prepped. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the floor, commanding me to clean his boots with my tongue. I eagerly set to work, performing to the best of my abilities. He used his other foot to push my face into to floor. But I was getting turned on. Any form of his touch drove me wild.

 

When he had had enough of that, he required me to remove my clothing. Doing so, I knelt before him waiting for my next instructions. He threw a remote vibrating egg and an oversized anal plug on the ground. Instructed me to place them inside my rectum, with no prep or lube. Wincing as I forced the objects deeply into my insides, I could hear him pulling out the chains. I thought that he was going to hang my arms from the ceiling rafters like he likes, but he had other plans this evening.

 

 

 

Getting a good length swinging, he let the chain fly and lash me. I could feel the metal bite the flesh on my back, but being a good sub, I still sat in kneeling position, trying my damndest not to whimper. As he pulled the chains back, I could feel the tickling sensation of blood droplets flow down my back from the broken welts. My breath quicken, anticipating the next blow…but it never came.

 

He ordered me to stand. With a few short strides, he was beside me, and his right hand was wrapped around my neck. Lifting my body off the ground, I could feel my mind become fuzzy. A persistent ringing in my ears and my vision tunneled to darkness.

 

I woke up on the bed, chest down, limbs hogtide behind on my back. Instantly, my mind snapped to consciousness as I realized the intense pain searing in my left side. A pain gasped escaped my throat as tears streamed my face. It hurt to breath! My mind raced as I tried to piece it all together. Before I could start, I was flogged on my left side. I heard the sound of the leather straps hitting my damaged side before I felt the pain. I couldn’t breath…my chest stopped heaving. The wind had been knocked out of me. My mouth gasped for air…any little molecule of oxygen I could get. Master took this opportunity to pleasure himself. Placing his harden **** in my mouth, he ****** my face until I passed out. It could have been longer, I’m not sure, but I had blacked out again.

 

I woke with my head under the water. My neck was too weak to fight the force that was keeping it under, and I sat there, hoping that I would drown. That this would finally end the pain that I was in. Just as I was about to give in, I was jerked from the tub, gasping for air. He slapped me, asking if I had permission to ever fall asleep on him. My Master was livid at this point. He shoved my head back under water, but I was in so much pain, it didn’t mater to me if it ended now. I opened my mouth, and expelled what was in my lungs, allowing my trying body to suck in the cold liquid. My chest felt as if it were on fire. My brain screamed as it tried to take over to save itself. But I didn’t care. I let it all slide before me.

 

I woke up coughing, throwing up water, as I saw him pull his face away from mine. He revived me. And at the time, I was sure it was because he loved me. I was so blindsided by my own stupidity to realize, he had yet to get off, and so I was not allowed to be relieved of that duty.

 

He dragged me back to the bedroom and threw me up onto the bed. Shaking off his wet clothes, he didn’t even bother to restrain me. I couldn’t move if I wanted to. And he just ****** me. No emotions, nothing. I lay there as he got his rocks off. I was so cold, my mind numb. I couldn’t focus on anything other then breathing, and how much I had wished he had let me die. And then as he climaxed, I cried…only because I had the notion that if I had been selfish and allowed myself to die, I couldn’t fulfill my Masters needs. He beat me and used me, and all I could care about was how he wouldn’t have anyone to play with. I was seriously troubled back then.

 

He carried me out into a field located a little ways from the house. Pulled out his cell and called for help. The police came and took a ‘witness’ statement from him. The bastard had the audacity to tell the police he found me like this. I was rushed to the ER.

 

I had four broken ribs on the left side and was suffering from flail chest, two cracked ribs on the right. My sternum had been cracked from where he performed CPR. My jaw was dislocated. I was bruised everywhere. I had a dislocated shoulder and hip, and several lacerations from the chain. As well as internal bleeding from unprepared intercourse.

 

I spent two and a half weeks in hospital and then was unable to go to work or school for a few months afterwards. Even after all of this ordeal…I still stayed with him for another year.

 

 

TiEnya TiEnya
26-30, F
10 Responses Mar 10, 2010

That was in no way love or what a Dom should be. He was totally selfish and cowardly.

He was the worst of what people think of a Master or Dom in the alternative lifestyles that are often called BDSM lifestyle. which is not true at all. A Dom does have a duty to protect, nurture, lead, support, love and care for his submissive. Not the criminal bullying that this bastard was into. Some of my other friends that are Doms would love to get a hold of his sorry *** and see how much pain he would like to enjoy.

That man wast not a Master he was a deranged sexual sadist!
A true Dom loves his sub and protects them. Sure they have to sometimes be punished and humiliated do to their transgressions, but this is only used to teach them to be a better sub.
Never do you cause severe physical or mental harm.

What a sick individual. I just don't see how someone could do that to anyone, much less someone they supposedly care about. I hate to say it but if you think you would still be with him if not for his suicide then maybe you still do have some of those issues you had back then. Thank you for sharing you story. I wish you well.

OMG!! it is a Merical the you still are a Lifestyler and a Slave!! at best under such Unspeakable an Experience, if one comes back, most would think that the ywould be on the Dom side just because of the fear of a repeat!! i am glad that you have the courage to persue your true nature dispite how that ***Hole MFer treated you!! it is A**H***s like him that make nonLifestylers think We are Freaks and are that We Lifestylers are into being Hurt,Abused or into Hurting,Abusing others!! ****** Me Off!!! Let's just say it is a good thing i never met Him!! i am a Totally Feminine / Totally Submissive Shemale,****-Slave but you Do NOT want to **** me off!! i wish You All the best and i hope that you find and Marry the Person of your Dreams be they Man, Woman, Dom or Sub - whoever your Dream Lover is, i hope you find each other!!! PM me if you ever like to chat!! Humbly Yours, Sissypussi XOXO

You, indeed, are a brave soul. Proof that love and respect were always the very last things on his mind, even they even existed in his emotional vocabulary at all. If ever people needed proof that a person ultimately gets what is coming to them, they need only read the end of this story. What you were in was NOT a proper "bdsm" lifestyle. It was manipulative, vengeful, and mentally diseased abuse. Nothing more. Of course, I know you're now aware of that.<br />
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Thank you for bravely sharing your story. *hugz*

the sadness is that we are never out ... for me, i know that every master i've had will always own a piece of me. i cannot not obey. you are indeed lucky that the coward killed himself, and i hope your new someone values you as an irreplaceable gift (as a good master might!). it does take a while to find the right person/people, and i do hope what you have now is fulfilling and satisfying.

@Shierka: I'm sorry that it hurt to read, but I'm glad that you did. And I am glad that I was able to post this. Thank you for your support and comment.<br />
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@Pissdrinker1: I'm hoping that I might heal by sharing my experiences. Thank you for reading and commenting.<br />
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@FreezieFukahh: Actually....I suppose Karma did come back to him. I was only freed from him by his death. He went over to Afghanistan to fight, and ended up taking his own life in the night. Had he not...I'm sure as broken as I was, I would have stayed with him longer. I was foolish and didn't know anything better at the time. Only through his death was I able to meet someone who was able to collect my broken pieces and begin to heal me. I think its unfortunate...even after what I went through, I still find it hard that it took someones death to correct my thinking and self worth :(

You are, indeed, very brave to share this... I would have ended that relationship... I can't believe you stayed with him longer after what he did to you. Broken ribs?! Dislocated jaw?! He didn't love you... I hate men who do that. He was so wrong to do that. I hope karma kicks his ***. I hope he gets that same treatment one day so HE can know what it felt like to almost drown, to be abused, to get his ribs crushed, to not be able to breath. He's a sick man...<br />
Again, thank you for sharing this. It was very brave of you.

I read your story even though i knew it would hurt and i am glad that i did. you are very brave to share this. <br />
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Thankyou.