My Secrets

 I was molested by my granfather age 5-10 raped age 12 slept with a cousin age 14 in a gay relationship age 30 Suicidal age 36......
Blind Blind
36-40, F
8 Responses Aug 10, 2007

I thnk that you have been through so much its important to get the right support and that you work out whats going on for you now so ou can deal with it and then look after yourself have yu asked to see someone yet go online and see if you have borderline personality disorder there is help out there if you hink the signs may be how you are tc hun xxxx

Wow that sounds awful, sorry to hear this. if you need an ep friend, I know I do, I'm here. <br />
<br />

Talking is always good, keep going!!

wow. if you need me im here

I can totally related to you "Feeling tired". I've had this emptiness for many years. I have tried everything from drugs and alcohol to having sex with many men. Nothing fills the void. I have attempted suicide several times but I am always spared or rescued. I have to believe that I am being spared for a reason. I have to believe that there is something wonderful waiting for me somewhere...something that will help erase the pain I've experienced for the past 30 years. So hang in there I believe your answer is coming soon....

I put all this stuff behind me kept it locked up inside and forgot about it never really had an impact it happend I allowed it or maybe it has had an influance on me or maybe I am just looking for excuses because of who I have become an i dont like it................My life has not been perfect but plenty to be thankfull for so now if somone can tell me why I have this emptiness inside me why I dont know who I am or what i want that would be great ..........

you have to sort this out before it out sources you...<br />
I have been through similar things...but you have to find a path to truth and beauty; if you want to heal, it is the only way...<br />
Take care and love yourself all of the time, accept your experiences and allow them to manifest in ways that are healthy and manageable. Denying them will only increase your pain....

That sounds awful !<br />
It must have been so hard.<br />
I think most of us have been thru<br />
something like this in different ways, <br />
I think you have proven how strong you are just by still being here.<br />
I'm always here if you need to talk.<br />
brokensound xxx