International

i was adopted as a baby from seoul, korea. i really didn't have a problem with this fact until i was older. as a child i grew up in a middle class white american family and was raised as such. as an adult, i find myself drawn back to my roots, wondering about my heritage, stuff like that. someday i'd like to return and visit, but not until i'm more well established.
quietrocket quietrocket
22-25, F
9 Responses Mar 17, 2007

There are several international adult adoptees who write amazing blogs about their reunions and search for their birth heritage and families. You can do a search to find their stories on the internet.<br />
www.PeachNeitherHereNorThere.blogspot.com

I will answer this both as an adopted child and a birth mother. I was very fortunate in my adopted parents. I have never tried to find my birth mother. My adopted mother was good enough. The state I was born in, Missouri, makes it nie on impossible to find your birth parents.<br />
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I gave my daughter up for adoption. She found me and we have an interesting relationship. She is unhappy with me because I tell her who her father is. It was the 60's, I wasn't paying attention. <br />
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I think both of us turned out ok.

Yes as i get older i have more and more questions i'd like answered about my early years. Good luck to you finding your roots! i wish it were up to the adopted person to allow contact but that's not the case in Candada. There is legislation preventing disclosure rights. Lame, since it is my life and all. Even my birth records show my adoptive last name not my biological last name. i am just curious about where i came from much like anyone else would be. Persistence and patience i guess. My adoptive parents are my real parents and always will be but there are several questions that they just can't answer. Anyhoo, good luck to everyone that is adopted and i hope that you all have the love you need biological or adopted!!

my parents are amazing, and nothing but supportive. <br />
i also know that everything about who i am is because of them...they told me they will help me whenever i'm ready

I am entering this post not as a person who was adopted, but as a person who has adopted. We adopted a little girl a year and a half ago. I love her soo much. I love her with the same intensity that I love my biological daughter. She completes our family. We certainly would not be the same without her. We are definately her REAL parents.<br />
With that said I know that the day will come when she will want to find her biological parents. When that day arrives I will help her in any way that I can. I will provide her with all the information that I have about her birth parents. That is her right, I hope it will be her priviledge.<br />
When the child you adopt in from another culture there are difficult issues that must be dealt with. I think is only natural that you want to return to the country of your birth. I am sure you will gain answers and understanding about the person you are. Just remember that alot of who your are is a result of the nurture you received from your mom and dad.<br />
I think that it is important to be honest with your child about their adopting and the circumstances that made it necessary. Of course as is age appropriate. Adoption is a everyday word in our house. My daughter will grow up knowing that she was loved by 2 moms. Her birth mom just had issues that made it impossible for her to care for a child at that time. Those issues have nothing to do with her love.<br />
Regardless of the means that you enter your family; it is still your family. Please don't feel less a part of it or less cared for because you entered it less "traditionally".<br />
I hope your search brings you happiness and peace. I also hope your parents are supportive.

In my opinion the adopted person has to know who his/her real parents are. Of course when he/she doesn't want to know, then you don't have to tell. I don't know if I would adopt a child. This is a very hard question. It can be that I can't have children, then I have to think about this opportunity as well.

Lol, wow two stories. I think that it is normal to want to meet you birth mom. I hope when you do it is great and that you are happy with it.

It seems that everyone in an adoption situation needs to be considered but ultimately it is up to the adopted person to figure out when or if they will find their biological parents.

My family had two successful adoption scenarios.<br />
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One of my sisters was adopted. My parents kept in touch with the birth mother and father letting them know birthday happenings, milestones, graduations and etc. They agreed not to make themselves known to my sister. They were present for her graduation and wedding but she did not know. Mom wanted to share information and allow contact as it seemed to fit my sister's needs during her development. <br />
Mother explained that the biological mother and father had 7 children already and they had health issues but that they loved her very much and were happy that my parents would raise her. My sister seemed happy with this explanation all of her life. Out of respect for our mother, my sis waited to contact her parants after mother passed away. She took advantage of this time to ask questions about the health of the family and it proved to be helpful in understanding her physical symptoms.<br />
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My first husband's sister-in-law was adopted. Her adoptive parents did not allow contact, so the biological mom never saw sis-in-law. She got little information. <br />
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Just before marriage sis-in-law was given the opportunity to call or meet her biological mom, but she declined stating that she wanted her adoptive mom to feel completely her mom for the wedding. Sis-in-law would contact the biological mom later. <br />
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After her mom died she contacted <br />
the birth mother and with their first meeting, they were both happy.<br />
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Sis-in-law said it does not always happed that way...that both are happy. But she did not expect the added joy of participating in eachothers lives from then on. It made sis-in-law feel thankful to BOTH moms to give her a good childhood and now a good adulthood with at least ONE mom left to be enjoyed and to enjoy grand children and great grand children.