My ****** Life

my birth mom hated me. i know i have siblings. more of her children. boys and girls. but i was the only one put up for adoption. she didn't die and leave me alone, and i have no idea who my father is but he isn't dead either. she had a divorce with her husband when i was born. and i was just going to be annother thing to deal with, and oh, she was so tired of DEALING with things. i don't think she liked to look at my face. i was just a reminder of everything in the world she's done wrong, i was a reminder of her pain, and if she got rid of me she would be erasing her past. i can't remember her face, hell i cant remember her last name. i have seen pictures but i always forget. when i see her in my minds eye her face is blury or shes wearing sunglasses the scenery around her sharp and clear. i have been told her name only to forget. i only know her name is joan. i always forget everything. i feel like my brain is rejecting her. to be told a bit of my past, grab it up the feel it drift away within a day. i just don't see how she could have carrried me around in her womb so long, could have been the first to hear me cry and to see my face, to watch my eyes open, for her to have been the first thing i saw in this world. and to have her stil be able to say good-bye, to me, to my future, to us.
singingcaptive singingcaptive
13-15, F
May 12, 2012