My Adoption Story

Hey, i'm Ashlee. 16 years old.
Well, my biological parent's named me Helen, I kind of wish they kept that name. It feels like the only thing I have that kind of had me connected somewhat to my real family.
I don't know anything about my parents, I don't even know their names..I do know that I had 3 brothers (was it two?) and 1 sister.
The adoption agency won't give me any information about them, it's not my "legal right". I do wish I could meet them.
At times I forget I was adopted, I live in a loving, christian, home yet I still do have that "second best" feeling most adopted
people feel, always have. I hate not knowing my roots and I don't even know where I'm truly from.
Questions like
"Where are you from?"
"What are you?"
"Do you look like your mom or dad?"
"Do you look like your sister?"
"Are you more like your mom or dad?"
Those questions that don't even phase most people kill me. Yeah at times I feel a loss of identity and i feel distant from my family even though they've been so good to me. I feel outside of every circle i'm in if you know what i mean. I don't have anyone who understands this feeling really. I do have a living relationship with my God, if it wasn't for him I feel like i'd be doing a hell of a lot worse than I am.
I just have a lot of questions that seem to be unanswered and I feel like me and my mom can't relate, can't connect like we should.
And the fact that I was taken away from my real home and "dropped" doesn't make things a whole lot better.
I never share my thoughts and emotions with my family, I don't feel comfortable, they wouldn't understand.
helenchie helenchie
18-21, F
1 Response May 19, 2012

I was adopted when I was 2 1/2 years old. What really sucks is the way the Gov. Seals up all the records. I think that when you reach age 21 everything on record should be open for you to view. I don’t think that the court system should allow adult people hid the facts of how and what they did to their children. I have never really tried that hard to find out who,what, and why.