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I Did It!!

A week or so ago I found my birth mom on Facebook. I added her. She accepted. I was soo happy! She later commented on a picture that i put up telling me that I was beutifful. Then she put up a status about how sorry she was, and how she went to her mom's room night after night screaming that she wanted me back. She wants me to go visit her. My mom now thinks it's a terrible idea. She always made it sound like my birth mom didn't want me or anything to do with me, but she did. She wanted me. I'm so mad at her. She lied to me and now she won't let me visit her. Ughhhh..
TeenageDreamer32 TeenageDreamer32 16-17, F 8 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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PLEASE proceed carefully. Your adopted mother is only looking out for you. She is most likely only telling you what she was told at the time of your adoption. You birth mother is now going to try very hard to convince you that she was bullied into giving u up and it was not her decision this may or may not be true. Young ladies being forced to adopt out children was not as common 17 years ago as it was 50 years ago. I have never found my real mother, but I have many friends that have. Except for one of them, after the initial meeting and they learned about who the real person was, they agree that adoption was better for them than to have been raised by their real parent. Remember your adopted parents have been there to nurture and support you thru thick and thin for 16/17 years because they love you and have always been up front with the fact that you were adopted.

well, keep youre head up, i dont even dont even know my birth paents,it sux, but i am so happy for you!
just wondering whare were you adopted from?

When you turn 18 your adoptive parents cant stop you from visiting your mom.

Your adoptive mum is just looking out for you, as any mum would. Lets face it, your birth mum is a stranger to both you and your adoptive mum so it isn't surprising your adoptive mom has concerns. I don't know whether my birth mum wanted me or not but she certainly didn't want me enough to keep me and neither did yours, whatever she may say now. The one who wanted you most and has raised you is your adoptive mum so don't be too hard on her, will you. Perhaps you should take some time get to know your birth mum better before you meet her. That way your adoptive mum might feel better about it. Good luck. I hope things work out for you.

Your adoptive mom loves you. Remember that. She wanted you from the start. She may feel like you going to meet your birth mom means that you'll disconnect from her and love her less. Even if your birth mom did want you, remember your adoptive mom wants you just as much. She's in a similar position. Think about how loved you are.

How'd you find your mom?

My adoptive mother told me her name. I searched for her everyday for three years.. I just got lucky i guess..

Where did you search though and how do you even KNOW she is your real mom?

That is a really good question.

My birth certificate is how I know. And i don't know what website it was on.. I just googled her name and looked through all the results..

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I tend to agree with the comments above. It's harsh but I would say be cautious. You say that she wanted you and you seem angry with your adoptive mom for suggesting otherwise but i'm sorry if she had wanted you, she wouldn't have given you up for adoption. Ultimately, no matter what the situation was, she had a choice. I'm pleased that she's welcomed you back into her life because it seems to mean a lot to you but at the same time I find it quite inconsiderate of her to tell you these things and risk damaging your relationship with those who are your family now. Once you are an adult you will have the choice of doing what you like but don't rush it. I don't think your adoptive mum is trying to keep you away from her to hurt you. I think she is probably just looking out for you and not wanting you to get hurt.

I do agree for the most part in what Calvexz is saying...<br />
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But I do know how important it is to see where you come from. Most often we dont find what we are looking for, but still need that closure. <br />
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Wait till your 18, your adoptive mum can't stop you, and you'll have some added maturity under your belt to handle all that is involved in this step.<br />
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Perhaps keep chatting with her? On the phone as well if that's possible. Get to know each other. Learn things. Go from there.