Why Me?

I was born in 1996 but it wasnt until 1999 that I was adopted. A year after I was born, my biological mothers father passed,him being the only parent she'd ever really known do to an aneurysm that killed her mother when she was 2. After my grandfather died, my mother changed drastically. So drastically that I couldn't be left solely in her care. For a short while, I lived with my aunt who is my moms biological sister. My aunt wanted to adopt me, but claims she couldn't because at the time, she wasnt married. Unfortunately, I ended up being adopted by a close family friend.

The woman who adopted me was my biological grandfathers goddaughter. Her being so involved in the family felt it imperative that she and her husband adopt me until my mother found a decent job & apartment. My mother has had a decent job since I was 5. Even so, I still live with my adoptive parents. The thing is, when I was about 7, my mother came to get me & I thought that i'd finally live with her. I don't want to go into detail but greed is why I still live with my adoptive parents today.

Over the years I've came to realize that the household that I live in is the worse household for anyone to grow up in. My adoptive mother not only abused me mentally, but physically. My adoptive mother already had kids when she adopted me. In fact all of her kids are grown with their own kids which only make it worse for me. Whenever they come around, which is every other day, Im left to clean up after them. I have to unwillingly babysit several children at any given time. I get no say so as to what I want to do, and nothing I ever do is good enough.

I've been cursed at, i've had things thrown at me, you name it. The abuse isn't limited. I've been beaten for crying to go with my biological aunt. I've been punched & kicked to the ground for things that were way beyond my control. I've been called stupid, sorry, & retarded all of my life. I actually take that as a personal joke seeing the fact that I am currently a honors student, who makes A's & B's with the ocassional C. I've been in gifted classes since the 2nd grade, I had classes in jr high that I should'nt have had until I was junior in high school & started my freshman year in high school with advanced placement classes.While none of her 5 children have ever brought home grades like mine, and only one of her children has anything higher than a high school diploma.

About a year and a half ago, my biological mother felt that it was now time to try to regain custody of me. Unfortunately, my adoptive mother didn't like that idea at all. She does'nt believe that I should live with my biological mother. My biological mother could no longer tolerate that & decided to get legal help.YES, I did want to live with my biological mother & I still do. But I had to think about some things. Like, if my mom did get legal help, & tried to fight to get me back, I still had to be in the care of my adoptive parents for the time being, & I didn't want that. So we decided not to go that route.

I get by day-by-day by telling myself that I only have 2 more years, then I'll be 18 & then I can leave & never return again. But I cain't keep believing that thats enough. I can't deal with the belligerent screaming & cursing everyday. I can't deal with the constant downtalk. I can't deal with cleaning up every five minutes because of other peoples messes. I just can't.
CompellingSoul CompellingSoul
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 3, 2012

God will see you through all of that,trust and BeLEIVE

Sounds like my mother if she had taken a different route or me for that matter

tell the cops or a case worker or someone u can trust dont live like this ur to amazing to put up.with her

Thank you. I really needed that. I've thought about going to the cops or a case worker millions of times, but I just can't bring myself to do that. I don't want to ruin the dysfunctional family any more than it already is. I know that it would be a World War III if I decided to do that.

hey how did things go for you?