Why Do You Want To Find Your Biological Family?

To be honest, I do not understand. Why do you feel this way towards your adoptive parents? Why do you want to find the person who GAVE YOU UP!? It just... isn't fair.

I just don't understand... If I had parents that cared for me, I wouldn't give one peep about my biological ones, because my adoptive ones would be no different in my eyes.

So, Tell Me Why?
DaringTheDawn DaringTheDawn
18-21, F
7 Responses Jan 12, 2013

Because I heard the first things I heard, and felt the first touch I felt from someone I never really got to know. I was taken to others and raised to believe that was who they were. I was raised by loving people, I was given average chances to succeed....perhaps if she had kept me my birth mother would not have been able to provide these things. YET.....that first touch - that something connecting....is missing.

There has always been a feeling of something missing. I made it not an issue, I ignored it for 46 years.

Then my father in law made me feel less - because of it. I had no "real" family history. And all of that came back...I do not want to downplay it any more. I do not want to assume that it does not matter. I do want to at least meet my mother...and my older sis. Even if it is just to shut the door knowing. If they want a relationship that is fine too...

I somple terms, there is something missing. I wa adopted My mother was totaly supportive in my finding my birthfamilly. They filled a empty spot in my life, and aswered questions I alway had. NO ONE can ever and will ever replace my Mother and Father. They were there every minutes raised me nurtured me saw me through thick and thin. Even though all of that I had a desire to meet my birthfamilly and ask questions, and meet siblings more than anything. My parents are the ones who have been there since day number one, My birthmother was just the one who gave birth, that never makes anyone a parent.

for years the only reason to look try to find the biological ones was to flip them the bird and tell them that I made it just fine without them. As I have grown older I have come to realize that sometimes there are good reasons that people give up their kids and I am probably better off with two parents that loved me unconditionally.

ya I am adopted and from China I was only one year old so my life lond dream is to frind my biological parents and ask why they gave me up

It's naturally to seek for ur original roots. Some of it CAN, and i don't say it does, come from the adoptee being bullied. Yea, it mostly happens for us asians.

I have been with my adoptive family since birth. But I was raised along with my biological family. The two are basically weaved together. I know my bio mom, I always have. While my situation doesn't necessarily match what you're talking about... I can say this:

My mother doesn't want me. She dragged me along for 20 years before telling me she was tired of me, and to have a good life. Yet I still want to know her. She destroyed me inside, but I still want to know her. Why? Because there are parts of me that I can't explain. I don't know why I have certain tendencies, or act a certain way, or think a certain way. They're all things that most people get from their parents. Yet these things in me don't match up with my adoptive mother. My bio father died before I was born, so in his case, I've searched for people who knew him. I now call his childhood best friend (from age 5-19 at death) Dad. He points our when he see's things in me that remind me of my Father. He says it's like having a part of him back in his life.

It doesn't matter if I was raised in a loving family or not. There are things about myself that can't be explained by my adoptive family because they come from my biological side. And those are things that I would like to better understand. Without knowing my bio parents, it's just not possible to fully understand. It makes life confusing. I don't necessarily want to be a part of my biological mothers life, but I do want to better understand if I'm truly like her in ways.

It's not that I feel a certain way towards my adoptive family. It's the fact that there are gaps that they can't fill, because they don't completely know where I come from. My Mother can't tell me why I hold myself the way I do. Why I'm compelled to behave a certain way, even though it's not how I usually am. And then I run into someone who knows my bio mom, and they point out how much I look, speak, and act like my bio mom. It can be very confusing at times.. We're not trying to hurt our adoptive parents, we're trying to better understand ourselves and fill in the gaps that we have about ourselves and where we come from.

Well, I just don't understand why people have these feelings. Many people, especially teens, don't claim or at all recognize any similarities with their parents besides looks or health; it is entirely irrelevant. Talk to the average teen with biological parents, and they honestly do not often feel any real connection to them personality wise nor do they present it. But adoptive kids automatically strive to make a connection with their biological, due to probably peer pressure, wishing for a better family, media, etc; there are loads of possibilities.

Even though, genetics are a tremendous factor in people, it never really shows between relationships as a major thing. It is a lot more complex than that.

Also, why can't people just reason the answers out? Why can't you reason out the fact of what is wrong and what is right based on how you were raised instead of claiming that genetic powers you do not know of are what drawl you to stay with someone who doesn't care? I think it is some type of psychology whose theme is similar to the quote, "You love and miss what you don't have."

Any genetics or personality traits can be formed by your surroundings. In fact, it is what makes twins different. Twins have different little parts of code that are not exactly genetics, but environmentally based. It is complicated to explain without writing a large paragraph.

I'm honestly trying to be rude, this is just my "deep thought process" blabble.

Oops, I meant I'm honest NOT trying to be rude. Forgive that huge error, please.

My reasons are multifold; mostly just curiosity, though. When I was younger, I'd watch those reunion shows and dream of something like that, albeit more private, but now I'd just like to see which features I inherited from my birthparents, and to know whether I'm more at-risk for certain illnesses and conditions as I get older, in order to pre-empt them.

I have wonderful parents and wouldn't want any others, but it would be nice to have some "blood" relatives whom I look like, act like, etc.