Reunited

I was adopted when I was seven. It was an open adoption so I know my birth family, and i am really close with my birth dad. He cleaned up and got married. But my birth mom went from bad to worse and was in jail for a long time for manslaughter. I am seeing her on Saturday for the first time since i was 10 and I am so nervous! As dumb as it sounds, considering how different my life is from hers, I am afraid she will be disappointed in me. Even though I don't love her as a mom, and maybe not at all, part of me still wants her to want me, even though she let me go so many years ago.
alovelylove alovelylove
18-21, F
5 Responses Jul 5, 2007

Try not to be too hard on your Mum. She has obviously decided to seek help and that's a good first step. It may take several more attempts yet before she achieves full success, try to be patient. Any support she gets from you could also be most helpful. I wish her, and you, every sussess for the future.<br />
Keep 'em smilin', Paddo.

I ended up seeing my birthmother over the summer, and it was really awkward but also very nice. We were with her mother and my two half-sisters, and everyone was teary eyed, etc. Things were going really well, we were staying in touch, but then she stop emailing for a few weeks. Then I was at my Nana's house and she called, saying she had been using drugs again and had checked herself into rehab. I guess it is good that she is at a point where she will take steps to aid in her recovery independently, but it was really disappointing, because I thought that maybe this time would be different, and she would stay clean. I just have to remember to take things one day at a time. Right now she is too embarrassed to email me (according to her mother), so I am waiting until she feels like she is ready. Then I hope that I can be there for her as a friend, though I am now even more hesitant to have our relationship develop past that. <br />
Thanks to everyone who has commented, it helps to talk this situation out with others.

I understand those emotions completely. I seek approval from all of my adoptive and birth parents, and can't seem to shake it no matter how old I get. All I ever needed form my b-mother was to feel needed by her, and when I never could get that, it was a really painful reality. Good luck!!! No matter what, you are NOT a disappointment, and it's totally normal to feel what you're feeling.

I understand those emotions completely. I seek approval from all of my adoptive and birth parents, and can't seem to shake it no matter how old I get. All I ever needed form my b-mother was to feel needed by her, and when I never could get that, it was a really painful reality. Good luck!!! No matter what, you are NOT a disappointment, and it's totally normal to feel what you're feeling.

I hope your visit goes well