Me

At the age of 4 months i was adopted, all thouggh i love my addopted mom very much i just feel empty, rejected, ugly all the time i know these feelings come from my me being adopted and its like no one else can understand how i feel, i feel alone in this world and although my fiancee trys and is so supportive i still feel empty

ConfusedSoulXplodingTears ConfusedSoulXplodingTears
18-21, F
7 Responses Feb 27, 2009

It's not your fault! I understand everything you were saying. I always have an empty hole in my heart, and the part that abosulty kills me is that I didn't DO ANYTHING to deserve this horrible heartbreak and emptiness. I was also adopted at four months and it's so unfair. Even though my birthmother had my best interest at heart, she left me with a huge hole in my chest that only adopted people can understand.

Its funny because growing up all I focused on was wanting to find my mom. It was pure chance that I found my brother and I was very fortunate that he grew up near and around our family so I had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know them and the heartache of being told my parents had passed away. Im so glad you were able to locate your mother and grandma and wish you the best. If you question looking for your dad, maybe give it some more time. Obviously there were reasons you were placed and why you are scared. As for your siblings, I posted a site I found. There are several places that are free that may help: just type in adoption search and look over what pops up. Best of luck!

Be glad you found your siblings. <br />
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I found my mom and grandma. <br />
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They have no idea where my 2 sisters are or my 2 brothers. One sister was put in foster care before I was born.<br />
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My father I am questioning if I want to find anymore as I would just end up hurt.

I posted some info earlier in blog: Adoption registry connect. This is one site I registered on today. If you know of any others, ep friends, please, contact me! I am still searching for my sister Brenda. I found my birth brother in 95 while I was working at a local hospital. It was pure chance that I found him and through him I met the rest of my family. I also learned that both my birth parents had passed away from cancer. My brother was never adopted and passed from home to home therefore he kept his birth name and he grew up around our family. That day was a blessing and we were even on the local news. But I'd love to find our sister Brenda. There was 4 of us, John, me, Brenda and our sister Pauline who was killed at age 3 in foster care. She was killed before I was born. I feel like John and I would be complete if we were able to locate Brenda. For all those that read EP and possibly this site, our birth name was Turner. I can always hope Brenda reads this and puts it all together!

Know exactly how you feel though I don't love my adoptive mom and don't know I ever did to be honest. <br />
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I found my mom recently through a site and if you send me a messege I would be glad to help you as much as I can!

I was placed in foster care at 18 months old where I remained until I was 6 yrs old. My foster parents were the only family I knew and to be taken from them was horrible! I can relate to your feelings. You have unanswered questions, you want to know why and who you resemble....these are natural felings. There are sites you can go to and register and alot of adoptees are reunited thisway. I personally havent used them but have given it alot of thought. I found my brother and through him my family by pure accident. I'll post a story about my experiance. However, I have a sister I havent met and we would all love to find her. I will research the sites you can register and post any info I may find!

Hello, <br />
I too was adopted (3 months). I've had insucurity issues all my life, but never nessisarly connected them with being adopted. I too love & am thankful for my adoptive family; however, there was a time in my life that I felt perhaps the grass would've been greener on the other side... Now older - I know that isn't the truth & I remain grateful & proud to be labeled adopted! <br />
I just wanted you to know... I am, & other adoptees are here if you need to talk... I'm very glad you have a man by you that encourages & supports you :) Now, its time to embrace that encouragement & support by knowing you're worth supporting & encouraging!!! Have you tried to find your birth mom? Take care & keep in touch if you'd like :)