Reborn Into a Second Life

I found out I was adopted at 12 yrs. of age. My adoptive mom explained my circumstances behind my adoption. Single birthmom in the 1950's had no support mentally or financially and would have been fired from Bell Canada for being a single mother.

 When my adoptive parents passed away, I started a search for my birthmother, since I also had a daughter of my own. Medical and genetic background became important.

I searched through the Adoption Search Unit in Toronto, Ontario in the mid-1980's. I received a one page letter of non-identifyable information. Not much to go on, but I did know my birth name and place of birth. I then constructed a letter of all the information I had about myself. I sent out 56 letters to all the Adam's in the area I was born. Amazingly, one of those letters went to a birth-uncle who knew about me. He then contacted my birthmom in another province. She then phoned me two weeks later. We met that summer. It really amazed me to finally see someone I looked like. She had three more children after me whom she raised. Two boys and a girl. She told me that my birth-sister had a problem with me coming into the story which I found out later to be untrue.  Birth mom and I  had contact for a couple of years and then she got mad at me for wanting to contact my birth-father. She unlisted her phone number, therefore resulting in severed ties.

I had blamed myself for screwing up our relationship and wished I had never told her that I wanted to meet my birth-father.

In 2008, about 15 yrs. later, I decided for reasons unknown, to google adoptees and came across pages and pages of websites for help in searching for siblings. I chose the first one at the top of the page and filled out the criteria, not expecting too much. Well, about 10 minutes later I received a call from the Admin. and she told me she had a match!!!! Long story short, I now have a wonderful relationship with my birthsis who had been looking for me for the past 15 yrs. It turns out my bmom was trying to keep us apart, because she didn't want me to know about all the family secrets. It seems that bmom was an alchoholic all the past years. My birthsister had a terrible upbringing. She told me I was lucky to be adopted out and not go through what she did. As it turns out my bmom is now 75yrs. old and in a nursing home with Parkinson's Disease. I now have a wonderful and rewarding relationship with my new found sister and getting to know the birthbrothers now.

So, never give up hope because you  never know what is around the corner. Adoption is usually a good thing for a good reason. Maybe a higher power looking out for us!!!

Mary (aka Catherine)

Mary53 Mary53
3 Responses Feb 28, 2009

Sadly I can't. He deserves to know how what he did hurt me even though it was years ago. He deserves to have any of my 3 siblings he still has taken away. The fourth and oldest was put in foster care after awhile and is out now though as she is 22 soon 23. <br />
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I want to know that he hasn't hurt my other sister Jessica 20 soon 21. <br />
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And I want him to feel as I do knowing what he did

Kthimm1 - You know what, I did contact my birth-father by letter and he denied being my birth-father. He was married to the same woman for 50 yrs., so I suspect he did not want to upset his wife and family. Selfish, yes! but I had to respect that. I have had confirmation by two people that he was my bfather. He is now deceased, so we will never meet, his choice. Men do not carry the maternal instinct as women. Enjoy your b-mom and Gramma, forget the a***hole. It's nothing to do with you.<br />
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Glad you found your siblings. Be happy it went well for you seriously. Not all go well. <br />
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Parts of my search were painful for me. Not the search more what I found out and how I did. <br />
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I found my grandma and mom. they are living together. Sorry to say though my father is an a** honestly.