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Abandoned

I too was adopted, me and my twin sister. We were abandoned by our mother in a hospital, a nurse working there told my adoptive parents about us which was against the rules and she could have gotten fired. I don't regret being adopted and i couldn't have more loving parents (well most of the time, when i'm not in trouble, haha). But I have felt a sense of detachment at some points. I feel like i don't have the same bond with my parents that biological children have with theirs. It makes me jealous sometimes of other peoples families. Also Ive always had separation anxiety, and I think that some of the reason for it is that i feel abandoned by my mother, I know that she was not a young teenager, she was around 40 when we were born, so Ive always wondered why when a woman was that age why she couldn't take care of children. Ive kind of always resented her for that, and the only reason i would ever want to find and meet her would be to ask her why she would abandon us like that. 18 years and I am still mad at her for it and I think I always will be. Does anyone else feel like this?
alsaxophone2007 alsaxophone2007 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 28, 2007

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I was raised by my own parents and still feel like I have been adopted. Being the girl child and all I was never raised like their own. I have learned to live my life my way and not be weighed down by what was done to me, what wasn't. Just forgive and move on, else the anger and resentment will be your own cage.

Hi,

I just wanted to say to U that the Pain of Adoption can be amazing!!

I'm 52,was adopted as Baby and then had adoptive dad die at age 8,

I was walking home from school at 8yrs old and thought there was a party at my house,

Nope my Adoptive Dad Had Died/It ripped a Whole in me so bad I turned from GOD in a BIG way!!

But as far as the Adoptive thing goes(and I just thought of this) we including me should check on website for a site that is just for Adopted Persons---- Since I don"t believe anyone other than an adoptee can Understand all the issues that crop up and sometimes help to Destroy a person as I believe it has Helped destroy Me ..... Boy do I ever Understand and Empathise with You,(Hope I spelled that right) any how if you want to speak further get back to me I'm just learning about this site and have not figured it out yet, I'm under tremedous stress right Now,and haven"t had a lot of time ,to do but Survive this Crushing Depression and Pit or Valley I'm in!!!

I am not in the same boat with you but I do understand on some level.

I lost my parents when I was 13 years old and felt alone. My home life was never great but the fact that my parents are gone and that I couldn't fix what we had haunted me for some time. I feel a bit envious of others who have their parents and treat them like crap. I knwo i was no saint but I miss my parents and not on of my foster parents made me feel like they did. It's the Biological bond that you speak of that I miss. But I am getting better and living my life without resentment and hatred towards my parents who did nothing but plunge deeper into their alcoholism which not only ended their lives in flames, but took every thing that gave proof I existed with them.

I hope somefay you can move and accept what happened with a open heart, I would hate to have or hear anyone live with resentment.