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Found Biological Family

Well i finally took the step to find my family at the ripe old age of 39 lol. I got my biological birth cert then proceeded to look by myself rather than use an agency. All i had was my mothers name and an address from 1970 to go on.

I googled the address and looked on google earth to see what its like. I then started on friends reunited and managed to find a street match with a lady that had a matching street name and house number and then started tracing her. I finally managed to find out her place of work in Scotland and rang her. I thought she may have been my sister but it turns out she is my aunty. She hadnt seen my mother for 20yrs so had no idea where she was but gave me the number of my great uncle to phone him as he may know her whereabouts. I rang him but he hadnt seen her for 12yrs. They did inform me that i had 2 sisters and 1 brother somewhere!!! I then kept scanning the net and trying all forms of searches. I then rang the registrars office in Edinburgh and the lady there did a marriage check on my mother and found she did marry in 1972 so it gave me a bit more info to go on.

I went back to friends reunited and joined genes reunited. This is where i hit the jackpot. I found my uncle. I sent him an email and he sent one back saying he would help me any way he could. He also told me that my sister had been in touch with him in the past and had managed to trace my mother to a bakery in scotland. He informed me that my sister went to see my mother but was heartbroken when my mother denied knowledge of her and told her to get lost. My uncle said my sister had moved but he didt know the address but knew the house and would physically go there to see her and pass my details to her.

He sent the address to me last week and she was ex-phone directory so i couldnt call her but i searched on facebook and found one name that matched in the aberdeen area and sent a message. BINGO it was her. She was shocked that i managed to trace her after all this time. We havnt spoken on the phone yet, she has been through a harrowing time with the family over the years and has had a lot of rejection and abuse over the years. Similar to myself in a lot of ways.

My aunty did inform me that my mother has a colourful past, but wasnt a bad person. Me and my sis have exchanged a few emails about the situation and some of what she told me was shocking, but i never went searching in the hope of a fairytale ending i done it more for curiosity.

Im not going to make contact with my mother but i am going to try and have a form of relationship with my sister. If thats what she wants too. My mother put me up for adoption at birth. As for my two sisters she left them at a childminders and never came back. Both my sisterswere physically and mentally abused over the yrs and the sister i have contact with has extreme guilt over seeing our sister being abused the way she was and not being able to do anything about it. I told her she was only a kid too so she shouldnt carry guilt over it. Ive finnished searching for my mum the details my sister gave me are quite unreal and i have no interest making contact with her.

So i think to anyone who is looking to search for biological family should really think long and hard about what you can be letting yourself in for. Im a strong person and ive cured my curiosity, but someone who is looking should realise that it may not be a nice can of worms you open. I cant say im happy about it but its not eating away at me. I found out what i wanted and im happy with that fact. At least now i know where im from and i may have gained more family but we will take it slowly and see where it goes. I told my sister if she doesnt want to stay in touch then i fully understand, last thing i want is to bring back memories that she may want left behind her.

A little bit dissapointed but its not getting me down so i will carry on with life as i was before.

 

So if you looking just be careful, but good luck in your searching xx

deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 7, 2009

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Thanks for sharing ur story and providing insight on this topic. Ur story will be inspirational and helpful to others who try to discover their parents etc.<br />
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All the best and good luck for the future.

i think that you have a amazing story to tell, its is a hard and i cant put into words or even begin to imagion how you felt. i have a story but im not ready share it on here yet. <br />
The short story is that i was adoptid at the age of 3, im now 21 and i met my real family when i was 18, i havent met my mother or father, i dont know who my father is as my mother didnt know for sure. i never met my mother ethier as she died before i found them. all i can say is i am very sorry to hear you story and it had ob been hard at time, despit being a strong person. i am now sat with my family whilst i am writing this to you, partly why i am on this site as i am findin it very hard to cope with, it has been a hard few years and i have through my own choice and them wanting to get to know me, saying that i have been apart of the family there whole life, dispit not being with them. i am building up and loving bond with them, and although i will aways love my adoptive parents, i am sat here now feeling like i am inthe right place. i am not sure how long i am staying with them, it could be a few months or it could be for longer, but i just want you know anyone who is out there think about finding there parents, its not all negative findings, although i never met my mother, i very much wish that i did because she loved me and always wanted me, i know this is my experience, but although i know its hard to think like this but i know that there will be some mothers or fathers that are sat waiting and wishing to hear from there child, and there only wish is to see them again, that was my mother wish and she died before she got the chance, i just dont want people to miss out like me, and think that its all bad, if you are unsure about finding them, everyone should have records on the adoption by law, i say at least get in contact with soical service and get them to contact them, and find out the simple answer do they want to hear from you. you dont know if they answer is yes then you might find that you guys out there that have that space which you feel is never full, filled? you dont know unless at least ask that simple question. <br />
thank you for reading this and i hope it helps you.