I Was Adopted
Well i finally took the step to find my family at the ripe old age of 39 lol. I got my biological birth cert then proceeded to look by myself rather than use an agency. All i had was my mothers name and an address from 1970 to go on.
I googled the address and looked on google earth to see what its like. I then started on friends reunited and managed to find a street match with a lady that had a matching street name and house number and then started tracing her. I finally managed to find out her place of work in Scotland and rang her. I thought she may have been my sister but it turns out she is my aunty. She hadnt seen my mother for 20yrs so had no idea where she was but gave me the number of my great uncle to phone him as he may know her whereabouts. I rang him but he hadnt seen her for 12yrs. They did inform me that i had 2 sisters and 1 brother somewhere!!! I then kept scanning the net and trying all forms of searches. I then rang the registrars office in Edinburgh and the lady there did a marriage check on my mother and found she did marry in 1972 so it gave me a bit more info to go on.
I went back to friends reunited and joined genes reunited. This is where i hit the jackpot. I found my uncle. I sent him an email and he sent one back saying he would help me any way he could. He also told me that my sister had been in touch with him in the past and had managed to trace my mother to a bakery in scotland. He informed me that my sister went to see my mother but was heartbroken when my mother denied knowledge of her and told her to get lost. My uncle said my sister had moved but he didt know the address but knew the house and would physically go there to see her and pass my details to her.
He sent the address to me last week and she was ex-phone directory so i couldnt call her but i searched on facebook and found one name that matched in the aberdeen area and sent a message. BINGO it was her. She was shocked that i managed to trace her after all this time. We havnt spoken on the phone yet, she has been through a harrowing time with the family over the years and has had a lot of rejection and abuse over the years. Similar to myself in a lot of ways.
My aunty did inform me that my mother has a colourful past, but wasnt a bad person. Me and my sis have exchanged a few emails about the situation and some of what she told me was shocking, but i never went searching in the hope of a fairytale ending i done it more for curiosity.
Im not going to make contact with my mother but i am going to try and have a form of relationship with my sister. If thats what she wants too. My mother put me up for adoption at birth. As for my two sisters she left them at a childminders and never came back. Both my sisterswere physically and mentally abused over the yrs and the sister i have contact with has extreme guilt over seeing our sister being abused the way she was and not being able to do anything about it. I told her she was only a kid too so she shouldnt carry guilt over it. Ive finnished searching for my mum the details my sister gave me are quite unreal and i have no interest making contact with her.
So i think to anyone who is looking to search for biological family should really think long and hard about what you can be letting yourself in for. Im a strong person and ive cured my curiosity, but someone who is looking should realise that it may not be a nice can of worms you open. I cant say im happy about it but its not eating away at me. I found out what i wanted and im happy with that fact. At least now i know where im from and i may have gained more family but we will take it slowly and see where it goes. I told my sister if she doesnt want to stay in touch then i fully understand, last thing i want is to bring back memories that she may want left behind her.
A little bit dissapointed but its not getting me down so i will carry on with life as i was before.
So if you looking just be careful, but good luck in your searching xx
