My Experience Being Adopted

I was adopted when only 6 days old. My adopted mother explained to me how she got me. She told me that she was in church one sunday morning and that there was a man in the congregation that was a visitor and that he want to make a church announcement. The visitor announced to the church that he was from an adoption agency and that he had a newborn orphan that needed a home. My adopted mother then took me in but I wasn't officially adopted until I was twelve, not sure why that was since now she is in her early 90's and can't remember much of that time. She is a wonderful church women and is loved and respected by everyone in the community. She made sure I was fed, clothed and loved like a child should be. She never drank or smoked and also had a daughter that is mentally challenged that she has cared for all of her life. Growing up in the household was normal and then it was abnormal.  My adopted mother in addition to her daughter had an older son, husband also, and he was just the opposite. The reason I say that life was normal/abnormal is that I found out just 3 years ago that when she took me in as an infant she never told my adopted father that she wanted me and never discussed it with him. That was to my demise as a grew into an adult. I can remember being a young boy and him giving me bad vibes. He would yell almost constantly and was rarely pleasant. On the other hand he praised his biological son from one end of the earth to the other, never critical of him as far as I could see. One would think that his biological son was the second coming of Christ. This went on for years and as I got older it got much worse because I started to have hateful feeling toward him because of the way he treated me and the mean and hateful things he would say, not even apologizing even when he knew was wrong. It got so bad to the point that one of my uncles and other relatives got involved and asked him "why", and I did and it was because he didn't want me there but my adopted mother did and he took it out on me for years. He was a man that did provide and always worked but he drank and stayed out all night at times when I was young. I would avoid him as much as I could, the dinner table, everywhere I could. As a teen, sometimes I wouldn't even come home until he was in bed or upstairs. I would peep in the window. There were times that other people I knew, friends and neighbors would come up to me and tell me what he was saying about me. He would tell some of these people that a was basically a low life and worthless. There are so many more incidents that I could write about but it would make my testimony way to long. His habits eased a great deal as I got older and then he had a slight heart attack which caused him to seek God and join the church and become a baptist deacon, but his mean and spiteful ways continued. As he even got older (1990's) those ways somewhat were seen less and less, I think one reason was that he had to be put on a dailysis machine 3 days a week. He eventually died in 1997 from congestive heart failure at the age of 81. When the hospital called all of the family went to the hospital and went into his room. He was laying there still warm and his eyes open. I took my fingers and closed both his eyes. It may sound mean to some but I felt relieved that he was gone. I never cried once about his death and I have never visited his grave. I'm not even sure where it is anymore. One major thing that I was worried about was my mother and how she was going to handle it. She is a strong woman and handled it very well. I was surprised. She once told me that she has seen and been through a lot in her life. The 1929 depression, 1936 western pennsylvania flood when she was a teen, her family lost everything and watched their home float down the river with her 2 dogs on the roof of the house, just to name a few. She was 19 at the time. She is the youngest of nine children and all of them have died. She is the only one left. Life went on without him and it was much more pleasant at home. PART 2.........

 

As time went on my adopted mother got older and had gotten more dependent on her son which is an ex-state trooper. He and I never had any real problem between us but others did. The way things have evolved to this point is is that since 2007 he has taken over all of her affairs, financial, medical and since he has done that he has reincarnated is father, W-T-F?. It has gotten to the point that my adopted mother and her daughter now live with him and he has given his mothers house to his son and has totally pushed me out of the way. I had talked to a few relatives about him in the last couple of years and I have found out that he was one of the reason why I didn't get along with my adopted father. Apparently he was stabbing in the back my whole life! Shocking news! I started putting all of this together in 1999, when I overheard a conversation he was having with his mother. He didn't know I was home because he didn't see any of my cars out front so he spoke freely. He was telling her to throw me out and that I was no good. I discussed what he had said because I was shocked that he would do something like that. Hes' even got both his son and daughter against me and I used to be very close to his daughter. All three have shut me out like I don't exist. My adopted mother doesn't know any of this and won't understand what they are doing since she now has alzheimer's and dementia. We used to talked all the time and since 2008 I have not talked to her. She just all of a sudden stop returning my phone calls. Since then things have gotten much much worse. I have changed my entire name back to my birth name because I no longer want anything to do with him or his 2 children. I have since move to Las Vegas. When my adopted mother does pass on, I will not attend her funeral. I am making arrangements to see her at the funeral home alone before they ship her to her church for the funeral. Since she has been in this condition everything has changed. I have no idea what's in her will or anything. I had 2 female cousins phone me about 3 weeks ago about an incident he pulled off. Seems that this creep has fleeced them out of $120,000 of inheritance money back in 2005, hmmmm. He was once power of attorney over their mothers' (his mothers' sister) finances. Aunt Mary died in 2005 in a nursing home at the age of 94. Her two daughters were told by this creep that all of the money that she had was gone and that the nursing home had taken it, but they didn't. The daughters have consulted an attorney and the case against him looks good. I never thought things would come to this. I thought that once the pain and misery that my adopted father afflicted on me died and went to the grave with him.......boy was I wrong. The ghost of him is still very much alive within his son.

roman3 roman3
41-45, M
2 Responses Feb 17, 2010

Dads... that's all I'm gonna say...

Almost speechless. What a story. Throughout all the crap at least you had your adoptive mother loving and caring for you and making sure you became a decent individual unlike her husband and the rest of the family it seems. You did the right thing leaving and changing your name, you shouldn't be around people like that.<br />
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That state trooper adoptive brother of yours has a LOT to answer for and I sincerely hope it hasn't affected you too much and that your life has improved.