I Think I'm The Only One Who Thinks I Matter...

Fifth grade. second trimester report card. I sat shaking in my downstairs, terrified of how my parents would react to my first, and only since, F on a report card. Reading. I wasn't much for it then and i always seemed to loose my reading logs... anyways, I walked out of the bathroom with what i had left of my 10 year old dignity and approached my father who was watching TV. I told him and i will never forget his reaction. Without even looking away from the television screen he said "I'm disappointed that you didn't try hard enough"
I went upstairs, grabbed a roll of toilet paper from the bathroom, went into my room, shut the door behind me, climbed up into my top level bunk bed and began sobbing. mopping up my tears with toilet paper and hugging my cat, Pooka, to my chest. My mom opened the door to my room and I turned away from her afraid of her anger. She reached up into my bed plucked the toilet paper roll from my bed said, "Don't waste my toilet paper." and then walked out.
This event basically sums up my relationship with my parents. They just don't care enough to bother. They buy me whatever i want but never really gave me what i needed, which was a loving mother and father. That day, when i sat curled up in my bunk bed, not only did i discover that my parents didn't love me but, that was also the day that i decided i din't really care. That i was going to be successful because I wanted to. And in a way I am. I have trouble telling people how i really feel, but I never have gotten an F since.
NatalieNight NatalieNight
18-21, F
1 Response May 20, 2012

I'll be honest here and say I don't know you at all and I won't say I have the solution to all your problems, but I Will say that even though I don't know you, I think you matter. If only because you joined a group on EP that I happened to be part of. also because You Are Human just as I am and i just so happen to believe in loving kindness, not religiously or anything, but i believe Everyone you meet matters, simply because they were a part of your life, no matter how small. The way your parents treated you was wrong, and i can't fix that, but what I Can do is offer you my friendship. It isn't much, and there's no physical or financial benefit from it, but I like to think that Every friendship is a step closer to Peace. I sincerely hope that you'll find someone who cares for you and can support you in your life-path. Yours Truly, Robert.