She Didn't Want The Bastard Baby

My mom had already been married and had kids, then divorced. Supporting herself and five kids on the salary of a grocery store worker, mom had a lot on her shoulders. While her ex husband had the kids she'd go out partying and meeting men, occasionally taking one home with her (or going home with them) On one occasion she ended up getting knocked up by some guy she'd met at the bar. My mother is from a very conservative family (they are appalled at the idea of a divorce, alcohol, dancing, smoking, women wearing pants, secular music, etc) So for her to be pregnant from a one night stand, out of wedlock was kind of a big deal.

So she planned on aborting me, without even talking to my biological father. Without even telling him she was pregnant. She already had 5 kids and didn't want another one, especially not one from that man she'd been with, and the baby (me) would just serve as a reminder of what she'd done. Lucky me, my mother's doctor knew my mom, and believed that she was only planning on aborting me because she was ashamed, and poor, and really because she had no idea of what else to do or where she could turn. He offered to deliver me for free and handle hospital charges. Mom reluctantly agreed.

Down the road mom became so ashamed by how she believed her family viewed her, and so stressed from having (now) 6 kids to care for that she seriously considered taking her own life. She says the only reason she didn't is because she thought that she was all I have. Since I had no father, and her side of the family was bothered by how I came into the world.

makes you wonder... makes you think...