My Parents Tried To Kill Me.

When I was about 6 years old, my parents discovered that I had Athsma. When they took me to the doctors office, he told them all the best ways to avoid triggering an attack. Every day afterward, they tried to induce an Athsma attack. Most times, they were unsuccessful. But there were times when they got it right. Unfortunately for them, I've always been very lucky. You see, my parents figured that they could just trigger an attack and let me die. That it wouldn't be murder if they didn't do it directly. What's more, no one would miss me. They just couldn't bear the financial strain anymore, not with 6 HEALTHY kids to take care of. Even knowing all this, I still can't hate them. But I don't love them anymore. I used to wish that they'd gotten it right, that they didn't suck so bad at killing children. When I was old enough, I started working with my father as an Industrial Plumber. I worked 16 hours a day, 7 days a week for years. I never even took any of the vast amounts of money that I earned, I gave it all to them, like I was buying the right to live. Also, I had to prove to them, as well as myself, that I was worth something, and somewhere along the line I realized something. I'm better than them, they're the ones who're worthless. I know how that sounds, but they're horrible people. I could never imagine myself doing something so twisted as trying to kill a child, let alone my own child.
BlackHaru BlackHaru
22-25, M
7 Responses Aug 4, 2010

me too, 1st and 2nd grade and then again in 5th.

The same thing happened to me except my mom was the one who tried to kill me while my dad is away. She used a knife, she hits me, she said I was a bad child even though I tried to have A's and B's and school and when I tried my best to satisfied her. She said I deserves to die and makes me hate myself, now every time this happens I have a big headache. I'm always a child she thinks shouldn't be born and my little brother was never treated me, he gets everything he wants but on the other hand, me if I tried to ask her something to buy me something she says are you going to die if you don't get this. I hate my mom. This started when I was 4 and a half.

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my Dad tried to kill me too. I must have been really little, maybe two years old. my older brother was climbing on my dad while he watched the news. i tried to join in and my dad flew into a rage (I figure I must have accidentally mashed his balls) anyway he tried to crush my head between his hands. he had his fingers inter-laced across the top of my head and bottoms of his palms just above my ears and he pressed with all of his might trying to crush my head. it went on a long time with me just shrieking at the top of my lungs. at times i could feel my skull starting to give way. finally my mother came out of the kitchen and she just said Robert! and then he let go and i ran into my room and hid. and that was the end of that. we never talked about it. my dad has gone on to treat me horribly the rest of my life. people say "what has he possibly got against you?"and i know that he still hates me from that day. and i still hate him - not because he tried to kill me but because he is a pathetic jerk who always tries to make people feel sorry for him. i used to test my parents to see if they wanted me dead. i would sit on the hill at night looking down at our house and i'd wait to see how long before they came looking for me or at least opened the back door and called my name - and the answer is never. they never called my name. I did other more dangerous tests when i became a teenager, and the answer was the same: they wished i would die. anyway my heart goes out to you. i don't know how we're supposed to deal with this. We are better than them. i have never even hit my daughter let alone tried to crush her skull. sometimes i think about telling him that i remember he tried to kill me - but i doubt i would ever do that. and ive never told my brother or sisters about it. i think in my case that i need to stop making excuses for him. But just like you i have gone through life feeling as though i owe a debt that must be paid in order to justify my existence. it must be nice to go through life without that hanging over your head.

You'd be surprised how these people get away with it and what they get away with, even when you do TRY and get justice the law would rather blow it off on speculation! <br />
Ignorance Is Bliss!

What really??? That is so....unbelievable I can't even imagine. WHY and HOW could someone who had a child want to do this to them, it makes no sense to me, I hope you can realize that your value isn't based on this though, it doesn't mean you're worthless, it just means some people (your parents) were very wrong. This is really awful, I'm sorry. :(