He Was Meant To Protect Me From These Things!

 Is it my fault? I was 7 when it started, He and my mother parted, me and my oldest and younger brother visited him every weekend during this course of time he would abuse me...sexually, mostly when i was sleeping, i remember waking up one night and looking down seeing a mans head down at my privates, i was scared because i didn't know who it was, then his eyes looked up at my face and then i knew, It was my dad, i just froze, i didn't know what to do, but the worst thing was my two brothers shared a room with me, then the questions started flying around my head, did he touch them too? i then rolled over hoping he couldn't get to me then, but he just forced me back over, i was scared but continued to pretend to be asleep, he then got up and left, i didn't sleep for the rest of the night, that morning i watched as my brothers woke up, stll pretending to be asleep. i then got up and walked into the front room, he looked up from where he was sitting and casually said 'Morning princess did you sleep well?' i was confused was he really acting like nothing ever happened or was he really unaware of the happening of the night?, This abuse continued for another 5 years, moving it up more and more to eventually him trying to have sex with me, that's the time i fought back, too much, i went home that night to my mams and i pretended nothing happened, the abuse continued still until i finally told someone i couldn't trust she went and spread it around my secondary school, i had questions flying at me from here there and everywhere, and then my mother found out, she shouted at me a lot, i was scared, was it my fault? then my brother came home and went to beat me, my mother held him back, He was screaming at me why would i lie about someone so great, i looked at him and said i wouldn't and fell to the ground, he burst in to tears and crawled over to me and kissed my head saying if he knew he would have protected me, that he should of protected me. but no one could but my self. i am now 14 and court is in 28 days, I WILL WIN!

LittleMissAnon LittleMissAnon
13-15, F
12 Responses Feb 18, 2013

Sorry i haven't been posting lately, but The light shone through, i got the justice i deserved, i waited a long time for this but i pulled through, for anyone who is curious about the court process, i am not going to lie, it is the worst thing you can imagine, i went through boxes and boxes of tissues because i was crying so much, i sat in a chair for 3 whole hours while they agonizingly threw me questions on top of questions about the situations i had gone through, obviously the defense barrister did all they could to prove me wrong, they suggested to me that i was lying, ALOT, but i knew i wasn't and i would not let them break me, it was so hard but after a whole week i finally had him found guilty on all 7 charges, 1 rape, 3 penetration, 3 oral ... he has now received a sentence of 13 years imprisonment and will be on the sex offenders register for life, couldn't be any happier with the results, thank you everyone x

LittlemissAnon is there a update perhaps, from how you been?

LittleMissAnon it wasn't your fault at all. I don't know if you would get messages from males on here.. But if they ever asked for details, report them. Because someone doesn't randomly message a person just for details.

Thank you everyone for the comments, it has really helped me ALOT, there have been times i feel like i can't move forward and are just stuck in this hellish nightmare, the day i wrote this was one of them, then i realised i am not alone your comments have gave me the boost i needed to move forward and get through the week, to know that people i don't know are so supportive of my situation is amazing, you'se are all perfect<3

It's great that you had the strength to let him go. What you've gone through is not a joke and nothing to be made light of. The fact that he did just that showed no respect for you.You deserve, if not need, a man who will love and support you through this, not someone who thinks it's something to joke about.
I know leaving someone you love is a REALLY hard decision, especially after you've invested a lot of time with them but, it sounds as though it was the best decision. In time, you'll find someone who you can share this with, who will give you love, support and care for you in this and all things. I don't believe in fate, but I do believe there is someone out there, for everyone, that is perfect (or close to it) for them.

I hope you're doing well today.
One day at a time :)

I tink i have found someone perfect, he is soo supportive of me and makes me feel goo about myself, he calls me beautiful, perfect, gorgeous and princess all the time, if i tell him something i don't like about myself he puts it in to a total diffrent perspective and makes me like it, he's the one who commented, his name on here is SupportLittleMissAnon, he's perfect

It's definitely not your fault! It's very confusing for a child to go through an experience like this, over and over. You're supposed to love your dad and respect and obey him. Unfortunately your father took advantage of your trust. A father should protect his kids from violence and molestation. I'm sorry you had to go through this. You say you took your brothers' role model away. Well, they need a different role model anyways. Stay strong :)

Remeber that i love you, beautiful <3

Awe, I love you too babes, thank you for helping me through this&lt;3

You have not taken your brother's role model away from them, sweetheart. He was an imposter, dressed up as a role model, there is nothing you could have done to change the monster he truly is. Now, they just know the truth about him.
And you're going to have trouble for a while, the pain never truly goes away, but it does get easier. It is completely understandable that you don't feel proud of yourself, as much as anyone tells you you should be until they're blue in the face. Your head is going to be all jumbled around for a while. But, with some healing, you will learn that you are someone to be proud of. And its okay to not want to kiss your boyfriend, you were betrayed by your father and that is carrying over to your relationship, that s normal. I always pulled away from being intimate with mine until I told him. We had a really long talk, for days actually. He has been my partner in healing and things couldn't be more perfect.. If you trust and feel comfortable confiding in him, he could be a good support for you as well. If you don't feel comfortable telling him, that's okay too. Everything is on your terms.
You will get to a point where you get confidence and pride, but it is a long bumpy road.

Ah, I remember the old "everything happens for a reason" line. It always seemed to me like a cheap way of saying "I have no idea what to say to you or do for you, so I'm just going to act like there must be a reason for this". But, that's just my opinion.

Just try to keep your head up, though I know it's so hard, and remember you did not ask for or cause any of this, you did not take away your brother's role model because a man that does something like that to a child of his own blood is no role model, and that you are strong, brave, and someone to be very proud of.
and, who knows, maybe some other woman in your situation will read your story and find the strength to tell someone, too.

You will definitely make it through this, just take it slowly, one day at a time.

it scares me, because i told my boyfriend about it all after i was with him for 2 years, then ever since he just came out with immature remarks and started making rape jokes, at that point i knew i had to let him go, it hurt so bad, i truley did feel like i loved him

You are a strong person don't let what happened define you are a person. You couldn't help it and its not your fault. Don't let this ruin your ability to Love or trust people.
You can't go back and change the past but you can make it better to live with in the present. You can use this to get stronger but don't let it define you as a person. You are still young and nothing is set in stone, you CAN get past this and live a happy and Loved life.

I stopped it on January 9th 2012, but it still haunts me to this day, and i hope i can get past it and at the moment, this is the only thing that defines me, but that you so much

It will be hard to become your own person but even if you don't know any of us here, we're all going to support you. We believe you will triumph and win! Keep going strong and remember you are a good person!

Thank you so much, you'se are all so kind and i wish i knew you in person because all the people i know are immature c**ts

A lot of people think the world is gumdrops and lollipops.
They often deserve a pistol-whip across the face.
:D keep on keeping on!

Thank you

2 More Responses

no it is not your fault we as men are on this earth to protect women from these kind of incidents - thats why we are created - this is how God designed it to be - but since we live in a fallen world this happens alot but there are also alot of times where it doesnt

Thank you so much,It hurts so much, latly all i have heard is everything happens for a reason, but if so why do the good people get hurt in the process

yeah everything does happen for a reason - perhaps the experiences we go through make us a better person and sadly most of the time its the good people that get hurt in the process but its the pain that makes us a better person

Your veiw on this makes so much sense, now i can stop freting when people say it, Thank you xo

no problem

1 More Response

Oh, and one more thing, I can't believe I forgot to say this.
It could never never ever ever ever EVER be your fault. There is nothing you could have done to cause what happened.
You are completely innocent in everything that happened to you. Please, try your hardest not to think otherwise.

Thank you so much, i hold back on a lot of things i hide in the shadows of my friends, i feel uncomfortable just kissing my boyfriend, it means so much knowing someone is proud of me, because i'm not proud of myself, i have taken my 2 brothers role model away from them, but thank you so much @DaturaLaceflower

You're an extremely brave, strong young woman. Being betrayed like this by someone you love is one of the most horrible things a person can go through. I have been in that position as well. I am so happy you can see justice done and, even more so, that you will remain safe from his abuse forever.
You seem to have family that loves you and supports you, and there are many wonderful groups online (and groups that meet in person, but remaining anonymous is usually more comfortable) where you can meet new people who can understand what you have gone through.
I actually made a profile to post this comment because I felt that you should be commended on your bravery for coming forward. So, if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, I'm always willing. I have an idea of what you have gone through and know that what happened to you is a painful thing. And, I know that I have always found talking to someone can lessen that pain, bit by bit. It might help for you too.

Wherever your life takes you, never let this, or anything hold you back. You can do or be anything you want, you are a strong young woman and, I know this won't mean much coming from a complete stranger, but I'm proud of you.

It may be hard to think this way for a while, but you are not a victim, you are a survivor.