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We're Still Friends With Each Other

I've been with my boyfriend now almost 5 years and we have a 19 month old daughter.  After being with him for this long period, I've realized that no relationship is perfect and in the beginning I didn't want it to be.  It's a lot better than the relationship I had came from.  The relationship before my current one ended lasted about 1 year and 9 months with the guy having a child by someone I had befriended at work.  All three of us worked there, at my current job of 10 years.  I started there in hopes of not getting involved with anyone on the job so I was with no one and in love with a guy in prison. 

I stopped talking to the guy in prison because he had dreams about ending with me within a months time.  I was in disbelief.  He really thought that. Anyway I ended up getting a real boyfriend and had him for six months.  That whole six months was rocky, as he jumped to everything his brother commanded.  That was doomed from the beginning and needless to say I ended up cheating on him with someone who I thought I was to spend the rest of my life with.  Then this journey begins.

They called him the charmer.  He lied his way into peoples minds and used them until they couldn't be used no more.  I thought he was kind of cute to be a short man.  Of course, he was taller than me.  He had that perfect skin and that well shaven beard which I had to get over that.  I was used to babyfaced men.  I was having problems with my boyfriend at that time which was about 6 or 7 years ago.  And the charmer gave me some attention.  I was on the second shift at my job at that time, so I'd go in at 4 pm and get home around 3 am or later.  I was lonely and decided to take a leap for it.  I had explained that things weren't working out for he and I at the time.  He got really upset but he got over it.  I had never accused my boyfriend of cheating because I was.  I just ended it.  I wanted to be the bigger person, because I had never cheated before.

That's when the charmer and I began.  He was on the first shift.  I started seeing him interact with different women on the job and I didn't pay it no mind.  We would meet up when I got off of work and I just knew I was the one.  We would go places and I would spend my money because I was good with money at that time.  He took advantage of that.  I'll say about a few months into the relationship, I started noticing him interact too closely to a younger lady who had to have been every bit of 23 or 24.  He was 38 and I was 31 at the time.  I questioned him about it and he say they were just friends.  So I let it go, because I didn't want him falling into her arms just by me accusing him.  Of course she and I became friends because we worked in the same department of the job and we had to see each other everyday.

Later on in the months with more lies and disappointments, there was a rumor going around saying that she was pregnant by him.  I was instantly crushed.  This couldn't be happening to me I thought.  So I started studying his actions not only toward me, but towards her and other people.  And it started to show.  He got highly upset about people talking about it and wanted to badmouthed everyone around him, even my cousin who was on the third shift because she had noticed it too.  The young lady and I were still speaking to one another for a good while after that, until she changed.  When us women get pregnant we get threatened by other women.  I felt bad because, I didn't believe she was pregnant by him, because it took her a long time to show.

My life didn't stop there after word got out.  My cousin that I was staying with at the time ask me to move from his house.  At that time, I had gotten promoted on the job to a better paying one.  I was so happy.  I was assigned to do little jobs on day shift.  There was where I got the truth..  Her belly started showing at that time of my promotion and I just concentrated on my job.  Also I had to move too.  So I did me.  I was still seeing him that year until she had to be rushed to the hospital.  He lied and said that she was going through something with his cousin Tim and needed for him to be there for her.  I didn't see him for three weeks.  So I went on with my life.  I put all the rumors and his lies all together and never accused him but put it all together to say it's all true.  He went to the hospital with her.  He held onto this lie for a while telling me they were just friends.

I also forgot to tell you that he said that he couldn't have kids anymore because of some surgery he had.  I didn't believe that.  Not one bit.  So I decided to leave him after he had left for a second time for three weeks.  I had washed my hands of him and fell out of love with him about a month before that.

She and I remain friends to this day and talk badly about him.  She had found out later in their relationship that he was seeing me first.  It was too late then.  He told her the same lies.  And it all was just a roller coaster ride.  He ended up quitting the job, and she and I are on the same shift.  We don't have any hate between us because he was the jerk.  Her daughter will be seven this year and she looks just like him.  He played us both and we're glad that it's the past.
micia73 micia73 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 25, 2012

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so sorry for you however its good you realized your mistake.its the first toward recovering from that difficult situation.. hugs and kisses for you

Thanks much, although if my current bf slips he a goner.