Caravan

While we were living in a little caravan, my father would send my brother and I out to walk, to get his time alone to beat our mum because the caravan was so small and he wanted to be particularly violent. He planned this enough to be able to send us out. it was not rage, but something much worse. He would tell us he had "to talk privatly" with our mother.

My brother and I were made to go out for walks on our own. The caravan was near the coast so we could walk down to the beach. We would spend an hour wandering around at the bottom fo the cliffs, throwing stones into the waves, anything to keep us distracted. We couldn't talk to each other about what was going on so we would just explore the beach and walk down to the village and back up, go and pet the donkey in the field and return to the caravan. I suppose I should say how I felt at the time but the idea was just to not feel as much as possible. Not think about it. or try.

We would get into trouble then for being too long and we would be sent to bed straight away without seeing our mother.

I never had the right moment to tell anyone this story before so it has ended up being buried inside me for all these years.

demonizd demonizd
31-35, M
10 Responses Feb 15, 2009

Love and respect to you for finding the platform and courage to write this. EP has many facets and being able to 'out' a problem or issue that has been eating at you for years is a great way to move on. X

Hugsssssssssssss :(

your brother and your mother have been able to find some peace and healing from all this.<br />
---------<br />
Camper Vans For Sale

your brother and your mother have been able to find some peace and healing from all this.<br />
---------<br />
Camper Vans For Sale

You couldn't help it. That's the helplessness of being a kid. I also have regrets from when I was a child, but I know now that there is nothing I could have done to change it. I'm sorry that you went through all these things.

My brother is married now. He has a career. :) <br />
I'm on the mend thanks to EP, and the people I have met here. Thankyou so much everyone. :))

What a horrid thing to have to live through. no-one should have to go through that. I hope you, your brother and your mother have been able to find some peace and healing from all this.

Thankyou for your kind comments.

Mental abuse also leaves scars. I'm so glad the laws have changed in regards to people who are abusers. I grew up when the police wouold say"Maybe you had it coming?" No one deserves to be abused in any sort of manner. The mental scars will always be there. People dal with them in many different ways some by substance abuse (food,drugs, alcohol, and becoming abusers themselves).

ah, Im sorry... but you couldnt do much with it. You were a child. Dont blame yourself for what your father did.