Life was never easy for me growing up. My mother let me know at an early age that i was not wanted! Of course being the middle child, 2 brothers and 2 sisters left me wondering "how could i be a mistake"? But at age 7 my mother told me she hated everything about me and always would! I have never heard my mother say "I love you" ever. I was never treated like my brothers or sisters, even now as an adult, i am an outsider always. Always wondered as a child how my mother could hate me so much, i was a good child, walked on egg shells to try and not get noticed. Staying to myself an putting all the walls one puts up to make it through the days. Yet with old age an death nearing i catch myself waiting to hear her say those words i know i will never hear her say to me! But like that child i still wish she would just once remember me like the others . But even with death nearing i know i will never hear her tell me she loves me!! But that child wishes she would!