I Can't Stop_part 6
I'm writing a novel now, I've had these memories in me for nearly a decade and it feels good to talk about it. Good in the sense that I've never spoken about it and wanted to because deep down I know what I did is wrong and I was violating my S-I-L. I stumbled upon a site to share my experience and find myself wanting to get this over with. I know I don't have to, but I want to. I thought I'd only talk about my 2 'accidental times' as this group is called, but I find myself tellinig my experience from start to finish. I'm reliving the experience on this site and because no one knows who I am so I feel safe in doing so. I also posted a couple stories in the Confessions section but thought I'd just finish where I started where someone might be going through the same experience and would be relevant.
One fateful night, my S-I-L finally caught me looking at her. She sort of panicked and didn't know what to do. She had her pants half way down and couldn't raise them quick enough to cover herself so she just looked away from me and covered her legs with her arms. I was surprised myself, and retreated. After that, I finally felt what everyone probably thinks I am, a sorry sack of **** who deserved to be in jail and have my eyes removed with acid, at least that's how I felt.
Following that episode, I couldn't look at her, I was actually ashamed and surprised she didn't tell on me. Even more surprising, a few days after avoiding her, she actually spoke to me and said something about anything I can't remember. I interpreted it as her way of saying everything was cool, but it wasn't for me. I never peeped her again after that and finally moved out a few months later to remove myself from her and give her some piece of mind back. I also destroyed all the evidence I had.
When just looking at her got old, I needed something new so I began to record her undressing to relive the moment. I had 6 short clips of her undressing, standing in her underwear. I had thought of someday humiliating her with the clips or using them as blackmail to get her to be with me. Luckily, the internet, much less social sites weren't means of communication the way they are today. Dial-up was in it's infancy, I was a year from geting our first family PC. I think MySpace or Facebook & YouTube would have gave me more leverage in my maniacal blackmail plot at the time.
My S-I-L and I are cool now, we chat and talk like nothing ever happened, we can even talk on the phone for a long time about gossip or nothing at all. But come holidays or birthdays, she's reluctant to share hugs with me, can't blame her. But on the other hand I do get massage her feet and back when she's stressed. But it happens in front of her husband or family, nothing erotic about it, I just happen to be good with my hands.
I am sorry I violated her and invaded her privacy. Nothing good ever came out of stealing her trust and safety. I know, what a lame ending this is, but I am done writing about this and after the last story, I didn't feel the need to share anymore intimate details of my voyeurism. Like my peeping I'm done sneaking away moments to write about this at home. Even better, It's over for me all together, so for that I'm grateful to this site.